Friday, 21 January 2011

The desire to know God

Taken from "The War Within You by Doug McIntosh"

"The price of doing wrong is higher than we know, for the difficult process for those of us who are Christians is keeping our hearts thirsty. We must want to know God. We must have a longing for Him. we must long to be close to Him and please Him. When we refuse to obey, we not only have the disobedience of the moment to deal with, but we also weaken our heart's motivation. We wound that precious desire, our hunger and thirst for God, in a small way - and that desire is the greatest possession any believer has. God has made us to be lovers at the deepest level of our being. His most common expression of disappointment in the Old Testament is His oft-repeated accusation that Israel was committing spiritual adultery by worshiping idols. He knew that Israel's spiritual success, as well as our own, begins when believers refuse to follow the siren song of other gods and cleave only to Him."


I have been reading this book when I am ahem ahem doing my morning business in the toilet (this is when I have to time to read undisturbed and un-distracted). I have found a nice small church to go in Kota Kemuning.... a warm church and I have been hanging out with the pastor and some of the members after church. I have been searching for a church to go to for many years and God's timing is perfect .. never too early or too late.

The truth is that the past few years, I have given my heart away to many distractions ... seeking to feel wanted and loved but in the end these had failed me and taken my heart for a ride .. promising words of love and faithfulness but in the end that very heart which spoke the words of love was the very one which broke my heart into a million pieces and shattered me. I had pushed God aside and sang my songs of love to other gods which in the end only seek to consume me for their own selfish needs ... when I was no longer wanted .. I was chucked aside like garbage. It was a humbling experience for me that in the end, only God remains. My frantic pursuit to be complete can only be found in God alone. God had never ceased to amaze me ... how He waited with arms opened wide ... longing for me to run back to Him..... He never got bored of me or gave me a cold shoulder and never made me feel that I am good for nothing... never. He had seen all of me and still wanted me.

I now know that the ties had to be severed in order to open my eyes to what I was putting myself through and for the healing to begin. I had prayed that God will remove anything which come in the way between God and me and it was a painful process but much needed before I was in too deep. And what I read in the book made me realized that my hunger, desire and passion to long for God was channeled wrongly.... I did not know that I had drifted so far away from God. Now I realized my folly to give my heart away to other gods instead of God, the Lover of my soul. I am on the path to healing ... I will never be the same again ... the wound had been inflicted too deep and scars will remain but my eyes are set on God alone now. May my desire and hunger be for God alone. Amen

Monday, 10 January 2011

Free - by MercyMe



Free - by MercyMe

I look around, inside these four walls
And I can see this is not my home
Can you hear it now, from inside these stone walls?
My heart cries out, I'm not where I belong

No matter what they do
My heart belongs to you
I'm free
Oh the hands that hold the world have set me free
He has broken every chain
So I lift my hands up to the One who saves

Take me captive, you can lock me away
But my debt is already payed
Take me prisoner, but I will not fear
'Cause my deliverer is already here

No matter what they do
My heart belongs to you
I'm free
Oh the hands that hold the world have set me free

He has broken every chain
So I lift my hands up to the One who saves

This world can have its way
Nothing can stop Your glory
What may become of me
I'll over come

Because I'm free
Oh the hands that hold the world have set me free
He has broken every chain
So I lift my hands up to the One who saves
And I lift my hands up to the One who saves

And I am free
Oh these chains won't hold me
And I am free




This song by MercyMe had been ministering to me while I drive to work. I am reminded that God had set me free and the chains that used to bound me before He came into my life are broken. The past has no hold over me. I am amazed at God's timing ..... He came into my life when I needed Him the most.

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Promises


Promises ..... such an easy word to say. We make all sorts of promises to others .... sometimes just to get what we want .. and how often do we keep our promises.... do we still remember our promises. I promise that I will love you. I promise that I will remain by your side. I promise that we will be together forever. I promise ... I promise ....... promises are just empty words spoken if not followed through.

I was amazed at the fact that God still kept His promise after 42 generations as stated in the bible with the birth of Jesus to save mankind. Wow if one generation lasts for a hundred years, imagine 42 generations will be 4200 years and God waited patiently until it was the right time to bring His promise to pass. I have not seen anyone keep a promise that long and God's faithfulness and love never cease to amaze me.