Saturday, 25 December 2010

I surrender.....

I Surrender - sung by Kim Walker

Verse 1:
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

Verse 2:
If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

Bridge 1:
I surrender...

Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

This is my 3rd and last day in Cameron Highlands. I am glad that some friends invited me to tag along. It really did me good. It was great to get away from all the distractions in the city, the pollution, the noise, the jam ..... the fresh air in Cameron Highlands and the great company really helped me to unwind and be refreshed. Most important, it was a place where I am connecting with God, the Lover of my soul ... my one True Love. I have been down for a couple of weeks .... a lot of thoughts going to through my mind ... and true to my nature .. I tend to over analyze things, situations and people.... I have a tendency to be ruthless with myself..... I am good at blaming myself when things go wrong or when there a fall out in a relationship even when it was not my fault....the mentality that I am never good enough for anything or anyone. Here away from the distractions, I can hear God speak. I have made compromises to drive away the loneliness, the emptiness ..... so strong was the desire to be loved and wanted ... a basic human nature ...... that I have pushed God aside when He alone was able to fill me up..... He loved and wanted me to the extend of sending His only Beloved Son to die for me on the cross. Jesus took my place on the cross so that I will have life to the fullest and here I was wasting it away .... giving in the desires of the flesh ... giving in to negative and idle thoughts.

But God never gave up on me. He never stopped loving me or wanting me. He never gave me the cold shoulder. His arms were always opened wide for me. All I had to do was to run into His arms. He has been nudging at my heart for so long ... nothing can ever satisfy me like God. And I am learning again to surrender to Him. To die to myself ... To give up my life for Christ is to live again. The Christian life is not easy, and in my own strength, I will fail miserably and here I am weak and broken and I offer up my life into Your hands dear Lord because it is worth it..... You are my only Hope ... because this life is not my own but Yours. All of my dreams, my life, my desires .... everything ... every part of me... I surrender to You.

Here in Cameron Highlands, I reconnected with my Source of strength, my Source of Life .... my Only reason to live. Here God reaffirmed me.... whispered Words of love, peace and hope into my very being. Here I am alive again in body, spirit and soul. My mind is clear now. And I know what I must do when I get back to KL. May Your will alone be done in my life. Amen.

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