Anyway I did not realized that I have kept so much junk/old stuffs in my apartment .... there so many old stuffs ... old letters, old bills, gadgets which were already useless, my previous anaesthesia notes etc. ...like I was still trying to hold on to some thing in my life .. the past .... and as I started to throw/clear all these old stuffs from my apartment .... it was kinda liberating ...... to throw away/give up the past things that I had held so tightly ..... it was gonna be a new beginning for me. In life... many times, we tend to carry a lot of unnecessary burden/excess baggage which hold us from living life to the fullest ... the thrill of the unknown ... the thrill of God doing new things in my life. I was letting go apart of me which I did not even know that I was holding onto for dear life. Time to say good bye to the old and hello to the new.....a new beginning.
I had started making changes to my life ... made some dietary changes and started to really work out instead of just dreaming about it. Lost about 3 kgs now ... more to come .. and I wanna get a whole new wardrobe in 6 months :) I feel more energetic and more positive.
Another thing I am thankful is I have a wonderful supportive family .... I seldom invite people to my apartment coz it is super messy but my mom and sis just walk right in ... oblivious to the mess and rolled up their sleeves and proceeded to help me clear up the mess in my life. Such unconditional love.... I can always fall back on my family. More and more I learn to appreciate and treasure them.
As for my walk with God, He is still very much a part of my life. Apart from Him, I am nothing. But the search for a church to belong to is still on ..... I even went to try out a church in Klang .... the hunger for fellowship and a place to serve and worship is still burning strongly in me. As for now, I will hold on to God and He to me. Amen.