Saturday, 25 December 2010
I Surrender - sung by Kim Walker Verse 1:
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.
If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.
This is my 3rd and last day in Cameron Highlands. I am glad that some friends invited me to tag along. It really did me good. It was great to get away from all the distractions in the city, the pollution, the noise, the jam ..... the fresh air in Cameron Highlands and the great company really helped me to unwind and be refreshed. Most important, it was a place where I am connecting with God, the Lover of my soul ... my one True Love. I have been down for a couple of weeks .... a lot of thoughts going to through my mind ... and true to my nature .. I tend to over analyze things, situations and people.... I have a tendency to be ruthless with myself..... I am good at blaming myself when things go wrong or when there a fall out in a relationship even when it was not my fault....the mentality that I am never good enough for anything or anyone. Here away from the distractions, I can hear God speak. I have made compromises to drive away the loneliness, the emptiness ..... so strong was the desire to be loved and wanted ... a basic human nature ...... that I have pushed God aside when He alone was able to fill me up..... He loved and wanted me to the extend of sending His only Beloved Son to die for me on the cross. Jesus took my place on the cross so that I will have life to the fullest and here I was wasting it away .... giving in the desires of the flesh ... giving in to negative and idle thoughts.
But God never gave up on me. He never stopped loving me or wanting me. He never gave me the cold shoulder. His arms were always opened wide for me. All I had to do was to run into His arms. He has been nudging at my heart for so long ... nothing can ever satisfy me like God. And I am learning again to surrender to Him. To die to myself ... To give up my life for Christ is to live again. The Christian life is not easy, and in my own strength, I will fail miserably and here I am weak and broken and I offer up my life into Your hands dear Lord because it is worth it..... You are my only Hope ... because this life is not my own but Yours. All of my dreams, my life, my desires .... everything ... every part of me... I surrender to You.
Here in Cameron Highlands, I reconnected with my Source of strength, my Source of Life .... my Only reason to live. Here God reaffirmed me.... whispered Words of love, peace and hope into my very being. Here I am alive again in body, spirit and soul. My mind is clear now. And I know what I must do when I get back to KL. May Your will alone be done in my life. Amen.
Thursday, 2 December 2010
I managed to eat all of my favorite places in Seremban.
The ikan bakar shop in Seremban with the steam squid and grilled fish.... very fresh and yummy.
Sweet and sour fried tau fu :)
Another of my favorite food is the pork satay at the Glutton Square in Seremban. The prices have gone up a bit ... kinda expensive .. they even charge for the satay sauce top ups. I usually stop by this place whenever I am back in Seremban. I still have not found any pork satays in Kota Kemuning.
It had been ages since I went to the old Market in Seremban. I used to have my meals in the market after school before I caught the bus home. One of my favorite is the beef noodles.
The old market still buzzing with life.
One of my friends in church opened a restaurant, the GIFT Tilapia which sells fresh fish. I tried out the salted tilapia and sambal tilapia and it was really nice. I plan to bring my parents there one day.
I was glad that I was able to catch up with some old friends back in Seremban. Mostly friends from my home church back in Seremban and it is amazing how some friendship remain true even after so many years. We met up and catch up on old times over some Baileys Coffee .... also one of my favorite :)
I am really glad that I went back to Seremban for a week. It had been ages. After this trip back, I have decided that I will try to go back at least once a month to hang out with my parents and old friends. It really brought back a lot of old memories.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Since it was a public holiday, I arrived about 9 am while waiting for another friend to arrive. He owns a Canon 550D while I am using a Nikon D90.
I am glad that we came early as the crowd started coming in later. The day was lovely as well ... not to sunny ... cloudy and perfect for a walk in the park.
Taken in the parrot park.
I can't remember the bird's name .... hehe .. was too busy trying out the new lens. So far I am very impressed with the lens .... I just need to learn how to use it better.
The glorious peacock.
The serence duck.
I think everyone know what this is :)
This is one fierce ostrich ... waiting to attack at any time :P
Overall, I had a great time. I am trying to find locations in and around KL where I can go by myself or with some friends for some photography sessions. I have been quite rusty... was busy with exams and my camera was collecting dust :P
I am really looking forward to 19th till 25th November 2010 where I will be helping out as an assistant medical classifier for the paralympics which will be held in Melaka. Here all the paralympics athletes from all over Malaysia will be competing. This is my first time helping out and I hope that it will be a long term arrangement. I hope to capture some moments during the sports though I have not taken any photos of sports event before. Let's hope I am up to the task with the Tamron 70-300 mm VC.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Both photos taken with my Tamron 90 mm F2.8 Macro lens which I am absolutely in love with as well. Next lens will be the prime lens 50mm F1.8 and the telephoto 55-300mm F4.5-5.6 VR II Nikon lens :)
Both pictures taken with the placing the Kiwi on a white chopping board and an A4 white paper as the background. Flash on the side and my dslr was handheld without any tripod... I was too lazy to take out the tripod :P Some tuning up done in Photoscape.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
The craving never ends .. just when I thought I got my self control mustered up ... Apple releases the Apple Macbook Air 11inches !!!!! I hate Apple.. I love Apple ... I hate Apple ... I love Apple .... repeat to myself a million times .. that I have self control ... I have self control ... I have control .....:P Man it is not WORKING !! ..... coz it is already on sale !!!! click the link here.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
So far I am very pleased with the Tamron 90 mm F2.8 macro lens... it fast and sharp and gives a nice bokeh. Very easy to switch between manual and auto focus mode. I can't wait to explore more after my exams ... right now I am just picking up things at home and shooting them to "destress" Exams will be in November but what I am really looking forward to is helping out at the Malaysian paralympic sports which will be held in Melaka later in November.
My name in Chinese... :)
I was born in the year of the Piglet ... oppss I meant the year of the Pig. :P
Anyway just a short post ... and I do have a wonderful supervisor who has now become one of my best buddies. It is amazing how God brings people into my life at the right time and place.
Ok back to my research proposal thingy ... oppss .. I better not forget to eat dinner and take my shower :P
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
God of my everything
sung by Bebo Norman ... visit his website.
Oh God of heaven come and helm me in
Gather the pieces that are broken
Show me the wonder of You again
Oh God of heaven
God of my hope
God of my need
God of my pain that one else will ever see
God of my healing
God of my strength
God Who is always and will forever reign
God of my everything
In all creation You call my name
In all the beauty that this world displays
Still I am the one for whom Your heart aches
In all creation
And when the mountains shake
You are my God, You never change
And when the earth gives way
You are still God, You never change
The message I heard last week from Gateway webcast is still nudging at my heart. The value and power of listening to His voice... to quiet myself and just listen to His voice. He has been trying to speak to me through my pain, my rejections, my own self condemnation, my failures, my weaknesses, my circumstances, my problems, my job, my self confidence, my self esteem, my loneliness...... yet many times these things cloud my mind and blind my eyes to the God Who is standing in front of me with His arms wide open... longing for me to run into His arms.....whispering to me “ Son it is ok... come to me and find rest. You don’t have to impress me like how the world judges you. Your value is not measured by what you do for Me but by what I have done and am doing in your life. So my child...let go and let Me in. Don’t compare yourself with others. Let go of the hurts .....the loneliness.... Am I not enough for you? You don’t have to get your act together to come to me....just come as you are. Don’t let the lie of self condemnation separate us. Come and find rest. Come and find life. Come and find peace. Come and find companionship for life. You will never be alone again for I am with you.” Yes this is what I have been doing in the morning drive to work.... communing with God.... letting Him speak....letting the Holy Spirit minister...letting go and letting Him in. As the tears flow..healing and cleansing began.....each tear that only He sees ... the pain that no one else will ever see ... God of my healing and my strength...my everything.
No matter what had happened in my life... somehow the need to worship Him still burns strong in my heart. I was a worship leader when I was studying in India and when I came back to Malaysia, I was serving in the worship ministry and as a cell group leader until I became too busy with my work and studies. It was this burning desire to worship and serve God and have fellowship with other believers which caused me to apply to a new department where I work normal office hours. This was the reason how I ended up taking up keyboard lessons in Summit USJ a couple of months and met this brother who had encouraged and ministered to me when I was really down. It is amazing how God arranges events and people in my life at the right time and place. I have been to Summit USJ for the past few years but never really saw the pin up sign for the keyboard lessons until now. So far this weekly keyboard lessons had been my source of fellowship as he had made it his life purpose to train and build up worship leaders from his keyboard lessons.
This morning while driving to work.... while the song “God of my everything” was playing on repeat.....the thought came to me. I am happy when good things happen in my life and when things goes as planned in my life. But when bad things happen .... how do I respond? Am I still happy? Am I unshakened by the fact that God is the God of my everything when everything seems to be going wrong and not the way I want? Can I still walk around with a smile on my life just based on the fact that God is never changing .... that He is still the Living and Almighty God in spite of everything going wrong in my life..when there is no evidence of His hand in my life..... when I don’t feel Him...when my strength is gone...? And I prayed that I will remain steadfast regardless of the circumstances that I am going ....no matter what that I will believe in my heart that He is for me and that He is my God and that He never changes...not based on how I feel or what my eyes tell me.
Many times I had wanted to stop blogging .....a few people who read my blog have asked me ... why am I so pessimistic? why do I sound so down all the time? When I first started blogging ... I told myself that I will be true to what I am and be transparent about I am going through .... and this blog serves as a reminder of God's goodness in my life. Christian life is not a bed of roses. I don't always have my act together. I keep falling but God picks me up and I keep going forward in His strength. Not here to gain popularity but I just wanna tell the world that my God loves imperfect people....the unloved, the rejected, the hopeless, the failures, the motley crew....we don't have to clean up our mess before coming to God. That is why I am so in love with Him.....the Lover of my soul....my main reason to live is to love Him, worship Him and to make Him known. Through the down times ... I hope that people can see that through it all... God shines through the darkest moments and when all hope is lost...when all strength is gone... He is there. He is the God who strongest in our weakness. If I can touch even one life for Jesus... then this blog is worth it all. Amen.
Monday, 4 October 2010
Last night I watched the live webcast from the Gateway Church in US where Jason Tam is serving since 2003. The message from Pastor Robert Morris was about giving "Value to the Voice of God" really spoke to me especially the part when he showed a short clip from Bill Hybels who wrote the book " The Power of a Whisper" ... how our lives can be transformed by making a daily commitment to quiet our souls and just listen to God. He shared how a person who listened to his messaged was challenged to put aside time each day to listen to God and write down what he heard. That person's life was changed by making a commitment to just listen to God .. that guy's favorite spot was in his rocking chair overlooking his garden. And it was in this very spot where God spoke to him. This spot where we meet with God can be anywhere ... can be in the commuter train when we go to work, at Starbucks, in the library, a quiet room in the house, by the beach or a waterfall, etc ... as long it is a spot where it is only between God and you .. away from all the distractions of the world.
It really spoke to me and from today onwards.. I have decided that I will get up a bit earlier to drive to work and sit in the library to just listen and write down what God speaks to me.
I really thank God for the live webcasts ... I usually watch the City Harvest Singapore and now I got a new church to listen which is the Gateway Church. At least I can still get ministered by the Word of God. These guys are really touching lives ... and I know that my life is being touched and refreshed. I am still looking for a church to go to ... and in Kota Kemuning ... I found a few which I will try out in the following weeks ... Gospel Hall Kota Kemuning, Community Baptist Church, Kota Kemuning Assembly of God etc ... I hope that I can find a place where I can fit in... have fellowship and serve. I did not know I was missing fellowship so much until I met up with my old buddy, Jason Tam, and I was really encouraged by his testimonies of how God had worked in his life and how faithful God has been in his life. When I hear someone else talking about how God had been so real in this life... I am encouraged and reminded at how real God is .... and I am reminded of His promises. And that is the wonderful rejuvenating and refreshing and recharging effect of good fellowship where we meet and share about the One true Love in our lives ... Jesus. I really pray that I can find that kind of fellowship in Kota Kemuning coz sometimes I can feel myself slipping away.
Sunday, 26 September 2010
It was great catching up and talking about old times and on what is happening in our lives at the moment. Most of us have changed but somehow the bond we had as friends remained strong. I realized that I only have a handful of close friends .... people who I can just call up and just hang out. Coz if you had read my earlier blog entries .. I am a hermit and I had built strong walls around me to protect myself ... strange ....the very thing that I crave for ...for companionship and friendship ... I had managed to keep it away from me by insulating myself from others.... for the fear of getting hurt or rejected. I have stuck in my comfort zone.... but slowly I am reaching out. Slowly .... very very slowly. Anyway I am thankful for the handful that I have .... who really know me.... who I can just be myself. Somehow when I open up my heart and eyes ... I noticed that there are a few unexpected friends which God brings into my life at the very moment when I needed it. It will take me time but I am slowly geting there. Anyway back to my post about meeting up with my friends.
My all time favorite in Sakae Sushi ... Hana Maki .. I can gopple down loads of them :P
Most yummy dishes in Sakae Sushi
Another of my favorite ... Unagi :)
After lunch ... we went for ice cream at Baskin Robbins and then to Coffee Bean for a chat.
Life is short ..... I think that was the conclusion most of us made that day and time really flies. We decided that we will meet again whenever we get the chance.
After we parted ways ... I still had to visit a friend for Raya open house. It was all the way in Wangsa Maju and it was jam in NKVE and MRR2 in Kuala Lumpur .... the heavy rain did not help either ... but while getting stuck in the jam and driving to meet my friends ... I was thanking God for friends who broke through my defences and touched my heart .... people who accepted me for who I am ... who did not judge me ..... people who braved thru my weaknesses and eccentricity ..people who saw my potential and who I could become....... for these people ... you know who are .... I love you guys and I am here for you as you were there for me .... and I am here to stay.
It was a great weekend ..... managed to clean up my house .... worked out on the cross trainer .... and now doing my assignments for next week classes. Good night.
Thursday, 16 September 2010
As life passes by before me .... I welcome the journey and the path that I am going through ..... it made me open my eyes to what is really important in my life ... what really matters most ..... a lot of things which I used to fight for suddenly lost their attraction. Contentment and making peace with myself ..... finding balance in life. Thus the questions arose regarding what I am doing right now in my life....it is really that important ... does it really matter....... Life is meant to be lived to the fullest .... and life is full of surprises. By God's grace ... I will have the strength and wisdom to walk the right path.
Monday, 13 September 2010
This bible verse had been in my heart for the past few days .... God is my anchor in the midst of storms ..... it is so easy to be tossed around but He holds close and securely. Without Him... I think I would have stopped living.
Friday, 27 August 2010
Fukuro and Dharma
Fukuro : Happiness and Prosperity
Fukuro ( Owl ) is pronounced as the luck same as "no trouble" or "good come soon" in Japanese. It is a good luck article for bring good (business) fortune. The Owl lives at night so it is believed to bring good luck for students when studying during the late hours of the night.
(taken from the tag on the ornament)
Dharma Doll : Victory and Prosperity
A Dharma Doll is known as an indomitable spirit. It is round at the bottom and it will automatically regain its balance after being tipped over. So it is popular as a symbol which does not go bankrupt. It brings good luck in business and for school exams.
(taken from the tag on the ornament)
Both very meaningful ornaments for me .... will be keeping it on my study table.
Thursday, 19 August 2010
I have moved into a new house in Kota Kemuning and I plan to sell off my apartment in USJ. I moved in on June 25th 2010 and I must say ... I LOVE THE NEW HOUSE! It is very cozy .... I look forward to going home.
I am still looking for a church to go to but I am attending fellowships here and there and I am one step closer to a church where I can belong. Started taking keyboard classes with a brother in Christ who wants me to start serving in christian fellowship on Saturdays.
And my heart is still very much smitten by Jesus.
I realized that somtimes God allows us to go through difficult time so that we can support, encourage and stand along side someone who is going through the same difficult times. It makes us more sensitive and compassionate towards the fellow traveler in this journey called life. We all need one another. We all need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on once in awhile. The worst thing we can do is to shut everyone out.
This picture was taken during Chinese New Year when I get to meet my niece from Thailand once a year. I am planning to travel to Thailand next year ... too broke this year after moving into my new house in Kota Kemuning. So everything put on hold though I did manage to go to Hong Kong earlier this year.