Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Soul Mate




Natasha Bedingfield - Soul Mate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone



This song has been on repeat since I first heard it. It was recommended by Fable Frog. I can identify with the lyrics. Just wanted to share with you all.

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Happiness


Happiness .... what does it mean ? It is different things to different people. How do we define happiness ? What makes us happy ?

I am currently reading this book : The 100 simple secrets of Happy People by David Niven, PHD. I got it for 50% discount at popular book store. Currently at the no 10th secret ... still another 90 to go. But what I have read so far made sense. And I wanna go into 2009 with a different mindset.

Invitation to the Christmas Celebration in Alson Klana

Dear all ... you are invited to come for the Christmas celebration in Alson Klana Seremban.

Hope to see you.

Take care and God bless.

Cheers

Monday, 22 December 2008

Update on Christmas Presentation in Terminal One Seremban

Just wanted to let you guys know that the Terminal One management had asked my church to perform earlier at 6 pm instead of 630 pm. So I will be in Terminal One at 1 pm helping to set up the stage.

I will be wearing a beige kurta and hope that all will go as planned.

Take care and Merry Christmas!

Cheers

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Christmas Presentation at Terminal One Seremban

There will be a Christmas Presentation by my church in Terminal One shopping Centre in Seremban. I will update further with the right time for the show. Do drop by if you are in Seremban as it is a short drama and I will be singing a solo .. "You raise me up" sung by Josh Groban. I will be wearing my India outfit .. "kurta" which I bought from Asansol, India.

How time flies ... it is already the last month in the year 2008 and just another 2 weeks we will be in 2009. I have been swamped with work and meetings. I did not realized that there are so many meetings to attend. I hope that I will get over my "narcolepsy" soon during meetings or I will need to bring a pin along to prick myself so that I can stay awake during the meetings.

I have been thinking about my life .... I usually do that a lot when it is nearing the end of the current year ... I see how far I have come in my life .. how I have progressed ... have I improved or deteriorated ( health wise I think I still have a long way to go but I am getting there ) .... I also realized that I have a lot of new friends ... people who can become great and lifetime friends in the long run... I just need to reach out and get out of my shell.

I am really looking forward to Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus because He is the reason for the season. There is no life apart from Him.


UPDATE : The show will be on 22nd December 2008 ( Monday ) at 630 pm. Hope to see you guys there.

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Anchor in the midst of storms

This life is full of surprises ... my life is full of surprises ... failed dreams .. dashed hopes ... failed relationships .... but yet there is an anchor in the midst of storms. When things do turn out the way I want them to .... I want to blame someone or something or myself ... God always get the brunt of things.... coz He is the first person I will run to .. to pour out my heart ... He alone see the silent lonely tears. He alone see the longing in my heart. He alone sees the brokenness in me. He alone sees the real ME under all the brave front that I put in front of everyone. If not for Him I would have fallen apart with all the surprises that life brings into my life.

I believe there should be a balance in life .. in everything we do.... we need to know pain in order to appreciate relief/joy, sadness in order to appreciate happiness .... all these adds up to what we call life. I always remember a sermon which spoke about baking a chocolate cake. There are so many ingredients which all taste differently but they come together when well mixed and baked ... we get a yummy chocolate cake. Flour by itself will take yucky, sugar too sweet, raw egg erm gooey, chocolate powder bitter etc ... but when all these ingredients are mixed together we get a chocolate cake. That is how life is made up .. there will be bitterness, sweet times .... ups and downs and these all make our lives colourful.

Somehow there are times circumstances will get me really down but I am out of the game yet because God is always there to hold me close .. to give me strength till I am strong enough to walk again.

Since I have started to make a commitment to give my tithes, many things had happened in my life which are trials which try to shake my faith in God. I must say that it was not easy, there were times I wanted to give up and just give in. But some how there is a still small voice which keeps telling me ..." Test Me and see ... I do not change for I am the same,today and forever. Test me and see My child." and that is what keeps me going.

I might be reaching a crossroad soon in my life. I might be transferred to another department .. a new environment again. Should I welcome it with fear or delight ? Only time can tell. I rest in the assurance that my life is in His hands and He will always have the best intention for me. Amen

India Mission Trip Video

My friend has uploaded a video clip of the church mission trip to India. You can find more about my church here.

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Me the Hermit

One of my blogger friends calls me a Hermit.

Definition of a Hermit

her·mit
(hûrmt)n.
- A person who has withdrawn from society and lives a solitary existence; a recluse.

Maybe there is some truth in that statement. I could just sit at my apartment the whole day and not go out at all. I don't call anyone or sms anyone. I can just read my books or watch TV or play computer games or my PS2. Maybe I have conditioned myself this way.

I tried to think back when I started becoming a hermit..... it started when I went overseas to study. I was on my own most of the time and I learned to keep myself busy so that I don't think too much. The habit was further ingrained into my system when I started working as a houseman in Klang. During that one year I never saw sunrise or sunset. I got up at 530 am to go to work and would come back late at night. And this went for a year. I did not have a social life. I kept to myself coz I was just too tired to go out or my schedule was just too busy. I learned to keep myself so that I will not expect.

When I became a medical officer, the ingraining process continued as I could not run away from doing the 24 hours on calls and I was usually working on public holidays and weekends.... eventually people stopped calling me to hang out .... coz I was always not free. When I was free, they were working. Deep down I still wanna reach out and hang out with others ... to me I don't need a whole bunch of friends ... I don't believe in numbers but I do believe in quality. A handful of close friends is all I ask for. I wont go around making friendships which wont last. To me everyone is special in their own way .... and I do treasure friendships.

When I came to KL, I think it was when the ingraining process was set in stone. Outwardly I might be a bubbly person .. I look outgoing but inside... I think I have hidden myself under many layers of defense ... to protect myself. I force myself to stop expecting, to stop wanting because I will end up getting hurt anyway.... and my work schedule was not conducive.

That is why I can just sit at home during my holidays and not go out at all. Maybe it is better this way. I am tired of reaching out. So far it was all just empty promises and words from others. Words are cheap nowadays. We make promises which are meant to be broken. I have had my share of fall outs with close friends which until today I still can't figure out what has happened....but I learn to move on ... put on a brave front and move on but deep inside I am still hoping that someday somehow I will find some friends who will be there for me and that I can be there for them.... and that our words will matter and the promises made will be kept. Words without actions mean nothing nowadays. Maybe that is how I see people nowadays...... I see whether they mean what they say by their actions more than their words. I treasure friendships and I take it very seriously and I will be there for them but now I am learning to be more cautious..... to hold back a bit....because the layers of defense over the years are still holding me back....which is a protective mechanism.

Some people say that I hold back when I blog. In a sense there are some truth in it .... you never know who is reading your blog. And I believe in being prudent in whatever we share. Some things are best kept secret and for our own eyes only. Most of my blog entries are from the heart. I try to be as real as possible. And I prefer you to get to know me for who I am instead of just having a preconceived idea of who I am from the way I blog.

Yeah in sense maybe I have chosen to be a hermit.

A cold place

I can work anywhere ... I don't mind the long hours and the extra work etc but one thing that really gets to me is the interpersonal relationship. I feel the new place I am working in is such a cold place. There are some who just walk pass you as if you are transparent. I greet them but they just walk past me and these are people who I did not have any dealings in the past so there should not be any past grievances. I don't feel a sense of teamwork or belonging over here. Each of us just mind our own business. I don't even know any of them who are in a room locked up with a security code ... we are in the same unit but in different departments but on the same floor.

When it comes to lunch time, I step out of my room and everyone is missing. I have been here about 3 months and yet I still struggle to find someone to have lunch with even though I have regular lunch hours now. So I am planning to pack lunch and just stay back and catch up on my reading and maybe I can close the window and do some crunches to tone up a bit.

Well that is my new place ... yeah great working hours but no sense of belonging or teamwork. I might get transferred to another unit as well. Oh well I have been through in life so far now ... nothing I can't handle as life never turns out the way you want to.

Sunday, 7 December 2008

Diiner with Anton and Keen

I finally managed to set up my desktop and do some photo editting. Keen already posted some pictures on his blog. I met Anton and Keen dinner at Shabu Shabu last Thursday and it was great meeting them. Yes I was with my camera again but I did not bring my dslr.

Keen was quite at first but eventually he warmed and started talking more. While Anton and me had spoken on the phone before so it was like meeting an old friend for dinner.


Keen Yee .... the shy guy :)
The 3 of us ... the waiter helped us to snap this picture.
Yummy food at Shabu Shabu

It was great meeting them and hope to hang out more often. We were cracking so many jokes and laughing so much that my cheek hurt :)

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

3 day course

I will be attending a 3 day course starting today ... I hope I won't fall asleep. I have this tendency to be narcoleptic during meetings ... don't know why .. I pinch myself, slap myself, take coffee/tea but as soon as I spend into the meeting room, I will fall asleep. Got a few deadly looks from others when I started dozing off ... good thing I have not reached the state when I snore or salivate ..... phew.

I better make sure I sit with people I know so they can give me a kick to wake me up.

Ok guys have a great day.

Cheers

Monday, 1 December 2008

A few updates

Just a few updates on what is going on in my life.

1. My walk with God

The India mission had left an impression in my life and it was during that trip that God spoke to me about many areas in my life ... things that I had swept under the rug ..things which I had been running away from ... He managed to corner me and help me decide on certain things in my life .. reassuring me that He will give me the strength and the grace to face it. He told me that He will never leave me nor forsake me and He will never ever let me go through more than I can handle.

A few issues ( let it out in the open so that I am accountable )

A. Tithing

I had always been thinking of doing it regularly but I kept pushing it aside. I used to tithe regularly when I was still in the music ministry and in Seremban. When I came over to KL with the increase in expenses .... etc ( see I am giving myself excuses again ) .. so my tithing became irregular and there were months I did not tithe but still the still small voice keep nudging at my heart.

This is the verse He kept reminding me :

Malachi 3:10 (Amplified Bible)

10Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.


So once again, I asked Him for strength to carry on giving tithing and last Sunday, I made sure I gave my tithes.

B. His Word

I have been a Christian for 20 yrs now .... and I realized that I am lacking in one area ... it was a solid foundation in the bible. Yes I know the verses ... I can quote a few bible verses from memory but I dont know all the background history ... I dont know the Greek/Hebrew origin. My church has always been very solid in teaching of the Word of God and both of my Senior Pastors take the trouble to dig into the Word of God and prepared their sermons for the church on Sat/Sun. That was the conviction that God nudged into heart ... so when I got back from India, I asked my pastor for recommendations on what materials to get ... so I bought a NJKV study bible and a Woods Bible Commentary book


C. Serving God

I only truly feel alive when I am serving God and do His work. So I am still praying that somehow I will be able to find a church here in KL where I can call my home church as I still go back to Seremban whenever I can as there is where I know that I belong.


2. Macbook

I am still trying to set up my macbook ... in the process of installing the programs etc therefore still not able to edit my photos .... and they keep piling up coz I keep taking photos ... :) Still have lots of India photos to share. But I was able to get World Of Warcraft (WOW) installed and updated .. so I have been doing some major leveling up with some friends ... currently level 45 Shadow Priest.

3. Health

I have been taking the supplements by USANA regularly and I can say that I dont get tired that easily now but of course it cant replace the hours lost staying up to play WOW. I am learning to slowly unlearn the bad habits that I have accumulated over the years since I started work .. junk food, snacks, etc. I am still trying to jump start my salad thingy. My weight still remains the same and I feel the strain on my joints but I dont want a too drastic weight loss. I am cutting down on my portion during meals. More frequent smaller meals. I need to learn how to cook for myself as I am usually eating out ... since I am staying alone .... kinda lazy to cook.

4. Photography

I am still snapping away with my Finepix F100Fd though my Canon 350D is collecting dust and hopefully not getting fungified .... I will be doing a photoshoot of Fable Frog one day. I am looking forward to it as he is someone who is very creative and he is a natural model.

I am also looking forward to doing a pre wedding photoshoot for my best buddy in Bali next year in March. I have already taken some photos in India and I have already obtained their permission to share some of the photos in my blog later :)



So here are just a few updates on what is happening in my life ..... hopefully get my macbook settled and I can start posting photos again :)

Take k and have a great day

Cheers !