Friday, 31 October 2008

20 years ago

** Picture above titled Forgiven by Thomas Blackshear ... my thoughts about this picture are very nicely shared by this blogger Brigit.

Every year, a day before my birthday I will think about the time when Someone came into my life and touched me in ways I never thought was possible ... and it was 20 years ago. How time flies. It was 30th October 1988, I was a teenager trying to figure out who I am ... the insecurities ... the uncertainty of life. I felt that no one will love me if they really saw what was inside of me. I felt like an outcast or a reject.... I walked around with a mask. Until Jesus came and broke down all the walls that I had built around my heart. I was guarding my heart so fiercely that when people told me of this loving God ... I did not believe them, when they threatened me about eternal damnation .. I still did not believe them. It was not what they shared or their threats which broke down my walls but it was Jesus Who would not let me go ... He kept wooing me with His love, His unconditional love. He loved me with no strings attached ... gently He broke down the walls that guarded my heart. He showed me that I can be myself with Him, that I can put down all my masks .. that He will not leave me even when He sees all that is inside of me ... He is not afraid of the real me .. what I am inside ..He held me close never letting me go.... and this unconditional love was what swept me off my feet and till today, the very thought of Jesus still makes my heart skip a beat. For He alone is the Lover of my soul and the God of ALL of me. The One who wears the crown on the throne of my heart. And this relationship will continue to grow each year until I finally see Him face to face.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

Yummy Breakfast

I usually get up at 530 am and if I am able to get out of my apartment by 615 am ... I will be able to reach Jalan Pahang by about 7 am..... just enough time for me to have my favorite breakfast of wanton mee with extra dumplings at the place which I have affectionately named "The LongKang". This is a small shed located in Taman Titiwangsa and the shed is just situated right next to a long kang ( drain ). They served noodles, drinks, toasted bread and half boiled eggs.
Extra dumplings
The char siew is calling out my name
It gets pretty packed. Most of the people who come here are people who go jogging in the morning and people like me on our way to work.

Sometimes I will call one of my friends who stay 5 mins away from the LongKang to have breakfast together ... nothing like having a great meal with a good friend.

Come join me someday :)

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Dinner with sis and bro in law

My sis and bro in law took me out for an early birthday dinner .... we were cracking out heads where to go and finally decided to go to TGIF at Subang Parade. We decided to share 2 set meals among the 3 of us because we know that the portions are HUGE!
Sorry I forgot to bring my Fuji camera so will just have to make do with my Sammy i780 camera :)

Burp! Good thing we did not order too many sets...or else we will have to tapau to bring home.

These are the precious time that I will treasure in my heart.

Monday, 27 October 2008

Early birthday celebration

It had been ages since I had celebrated my birthday. Over time it was just another day in my life. Last Sunday I was in for a pleasant surprise. After church, a group of us decided to have Japanese buffet at Alson Kelana, one of the hotels in Seremban. It has been ages since I was back in Seremban I did not realize that there was a Japanese buffet with all the sashimis, unagis, etc ...yummy. Kok Hon took me for a treat..... as he claims it was an early birthday treat ( my birthday is on Oct 31st ... ahem ahem).
I was not expecting a birthday cake !!!!! They were kind enough to just light one candle or else there wont be enough space on the cake to put all the candles. They dimmed the lights and started singing a birthday song. I was blushing with JOY! It had been ages since I made a wish .... so I made a wish while blowing out the candle.
I was never good in a crowd of people. I always preferred to hang out with a few close friends.... but today it was fun and it was great catching up with my friends. These are the special moments.
California roll with crunchy fish roe :)
Smoked salmon .... erm I was really whacking the unagi so I did not manage to take any photos of unagi.

Washing frenzy

I have been on a washing frenzy after I inherited an old Zanussi washing machine from my sister. She just moved into a fully furnished house and she still has her 10 kg Toshiba washing machine. So I ended up donating my old washing machine and inherited the Zanussi washing machine from my sister.

I have always wanted a front loading washing machine where I can adjust the temp for washing and front loading washing machine is more gentle on the clothes..... so I have been washing the curtains, and whatever which had been washed in ages ...hehe ... now I hope the Zanussi wont break down on me due to excessive usage :)

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Tired but not zonked out

The past few days I have been silent as I was busy with my department conference which was from Mon till Wed. Just settled it yesterday but was kinda zonked out that I ended up sleeping early instead of going over to my sister's place for dinner yesterday. I think I still have a lot of sleep debt to pay back.

A lot of things have been happening in my life. The India trip in November is always on the back of my mind and it will all work out smoothly. Just another week to go ...... need to start packing, prepare my testimony to share during the trip. Get my Canon 350D ready for action along with more memory cards ... I will be the official photographer during the trip. Bringing my compact Fuji finepix f100FD along with me.

I heard news that my transfer to my current department is finally official and the letter will be out in November. But after working here a month ... I have seen a lot of things which I don't like ... but hey there are not perfect working environment and I will keep reminding myself why I am here. I have more time for myself.

My health is improving .... there is a different kind of stress here and I like the fact that I am popping in less panadol for my headaches which are less frequent now since I started my nutritional supplement one month back.

Monday, 20 October 2008

My refuge

I guess I am still learning how to accept that some things just won't work out no matter how hard I try ..... I guess it was just not meant to be. Nowadays I have kinda stopped trying to analyze a situation too much .... why relationships don't work ? Why certain friendships just die off ? It takes 2 to tango and I am tired of one way relationships. I am tired of trying and opening up my heart again and again and getting hurt. For now I think I will start building up the walls again. I need to find peace within myself again .... for now I think I want to be left alone .. it is less complicated that way. At least I know why I am alone due to my own choice.. I have closed the door for now .... and I think I like it this way for the time being. Less hassle... less expectation ... less heartache.... less hurt.... yes for now .. this is my refuge from the turbulence outside.

Thursday, 16 October 2008


One of the girls in the office love to eat lollipop ..... every time I go to see her, she will have one in her mouth. I have not taken one in ages ... so I decided to get one for myself .... I did not realize that it was SO DIFFICULT to open the wrapper ... I struggling for a long time to open it that I finally gave up and gave the lollipop away.

Anyone struggled with the lollipop wrapper before ????

Sunday, 12 October 2008

A mess

Life has been a mess since I got back from Bangkok.... my apartment is in a mess ... the conference project by my department is in a mess ...... my health is in a mess ...... my hair is in a mess ..... everything is in a mess ..... it is so easy to have tunnel vision sometimes ... I guess most of the time ... I get so caught up in my small world that I sometimes forget that there is a bigger world out there..... in November when I travel to India for my church mission trip, I will see the bigger world.... that I have been blessed so much that it is time to touch someone's life instead of focusing on what I am lacking but rejoicing and thanking God in what He had provided.

God had been nudging my heart .... my motives ... my priorities .... I am spiritually and mentally trying to get myself ready for the India trip in November which is 3 weeks away and time really flies... and pastor already warned that there will be a 2 HOURS WALK !!!!! Can they just put me in a cart and push me around for that long walk .... hmmmm.

Still feeling blue after coming back from Bangkok .. wishing for things which are out of my grasp... still lonely .... still fat ..... ok snap out of it ... time to clean up my apartment , clean up the mess, walk on the treadmill and have my meal replacement shake for lunch. I am thinking of going vegetarian until I go for my trip to India.

Have a great Sunday.

Monday, 6 October 2008

Feeling blue

Feeling blue after such a long break and I already miss my niece. Wish I can just live free ... free from financial constrains .... free to fly over to see my niece,bro and sis in law ... free to give the best to my family ..... free to buy a car ( I had to turn down buying a 2nd hand Toyota Vios because after calculating and calculating I realized that I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A SECOND HAND CAR !!!!!!!!!! )

I have started a new venture which hopefully will be my passport to freedom and to achieving my dreams ... will share more later :D

Oh yeah ran out of idea what to have for lunch and I decided to just have low sugar soya bean milk and a cup of margerine free corn :D

Saturday, 4 October 2008

Finally back in Malaysia

It is amazing how time flies ... it was a great one week seeing my first niece ..... I was also able to catch up with World of Warcraft playtime ... leveled a couple of times.

LCCT Airport is as packed as ever but too bad that they have not upgraded their infrastructure to support the increase in passengers. We wanted to catch a cab back to Seremban but there are like 90 people waiting in line !!!!! Anyway thank God my brother in law and my sister came to the rescue ... so I am currrently waiting for them as they will pick us up from the airport and will stay overnight in Seremban.

One week was just nice and I am happy that I am back in Malaysia ... cant wait to go back to my apartment to do some cleaning up.

There is no place like home.