Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Jam jam jam!

Jam jam jam!
Originally uploaded by sbanboy

Daily jam.I leave my place at about 645am and I m still stuck near my place.haha.Maybe I should leave by 6am.To make the jams bearable I make sure I have my favorite cds with me.Praying while driving helps alot too.

Bapa yang kekal (Eternal Father)

BAPA YANG KEKAL: sung by Franky Sihombing

Kasih yang sempurna Perfect love
Telah, ku trima dari-Mu I have received from You
Bukan karna, kebaikan-ku Not because of my own goodness
Hanya, oleh kasih karunia-Mu Only because of your gift of love
Kau pulihkan aku You revived me
Layakkan-ku, tuk dapat memanggil-Mu Bapa Made me worthy to call You Father
Kau bri yang ku pinta You give what I ask
Saat ku mencari ku mendapatnya The moment I seek I find it
Ku ketuk pintu-Mu I knock at Your door
Dan Kau buka-kan And You open it
Kau-lah Bapa-ku, Bapa yang kekal You're my Father, my eternal Father
Tak kan Kau biarkan You never let me
Aku melangkah hanya sendirian Walk alone
Kau selalu ada, bagi-ku You're always with me
Kau-lah Bapa-ku, Bapa yang kekal.You're my Father, my eternal Father

(translation taken from this blog )

What I wanted to post initially was about how unfair life is ... about how lonely life is .... etc ... etc .... I guess you can figure out where I was heading. But as I was formulating about what to blog about ..... I was reminded about the church service I attended 2 weeks ago at a small SIB (Sidang Injil Borneo) church at Brickfields. It was a small church ... just about 50 members. It was the first Bahasa Malaysia service that I have attended but language was not a barrier when God wants to touch your life. The service was vibrant ... so full of life .... the faces up at the stage was sincere and so real ... worshipping Father God with all that were within them. They were not worried about singing in tune or whether the music was in the right key or beat .... they were there for one person and they sang for one person only ... the Saviour and Lover of their souls .. Jesus Christ. The dancers in front .... was oblivious to the people around them ... they danced for God alone.

And in this small church .... God once again reminded me again how it was to be filled by Him alone... to live for Him alone .... I was still trying to fit in here in this big city ... to find a sense of belonging and direction in my life ... there were lots of lonely days and silent tears ..... which He alone sees. He reminded me again that He is with me always. He is my eternal Father. That I will find Him when I seek Him ... He will not turn His back on me or slam the door on my face. And the tears kept flowing and the healing started again .... and once again I was oblivious to the people around me .... I was caught up in Him alone ... to love Him and to be loved by Him .... to give my all to Him alone my eternal Father who will never leave nor forsake me.

Now I remind myself to think of His goodness when I want to start wallowing in self pity.... when I start thinking about how unfair life is and how come it is so easy for others ... etc ... God is good all the time. Amen

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

My life so far ......

Hi guys ... sorry for the lack of updates ... actually been taking alot of pictures ... been busy with work and the upcoming ACLS and BLS courses this week.

Chinese New Year was wonderful ... it was great to be home with my family .... there 9 of us .... now just need to find my other half and we can have a total of 10 for Chinese New Year. We are actually running out of place to sit at the dinner table.

Met up with old friends ... made new friends...... but most of all ... I rested ... from the cares of the work and world.

It was nice to be home in familiar grounds where I can just let my mask/guard down and be myself. It is only my family who can really see right through me. Dad said that I am much happier nowadays ..... I guess I did not know what state I was in previously when I was still doing my masters .....

I will be going to Penang in March and hope to meet up with some friends and bloggers there.

Ok time for my cycling session .... see u guys.

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year to ALL !!! Have a great time with family and friends.

Things that make u go aaoowww so cute !!!!

I was in OT one day and I heard a child crying because the mother was holding him but when she puts him down ... he is as happy as he can be .... running around spreading the "cuteness" factor all around and I managed to capture it with my phone. Everytime I look at the video ... it always brings a smile to face. Just wanted to share it with you guys.

Saturday, 2 February 2008

My N73 ME

I have been taking alot of pictures since I got my N73 ME last month. I had it exchanged for the SE 810i coz the camera button was faulty.

But I am much happier with the N73 ME as it can sync perfectly with my Macbook. The SE only allow 1000 phone numbers and some details got lost during the sync but the N73 ME managed to sync all the phone numbers and the calenders perfectly. I can also sync the photos and itunes playlist to my N73.

I have ample space with the bundled 2 gig mini sd card. The included stereo headset jack allows me to use other headsets. The battery life is better. I dont have to bring my charger along when I am on call.

Overall I am quite happy with the phone. I have been snapping alot of pictures but was just too lazy to upload it into the blog.

My 19 hours operation

I was on call last month and I had to take over an elective case which was running late. The operation started at about 9 am. I took over the the case at about 11 pm and the operation finished at 4 am the next day. It was a case of Malignant Teratoma in the abdomen. The sad part was that the arm of the surgeon was "twisted" to perform the surgery. The patient was told that it was inoperable as the tumour had grown so much that it had involved the major vessels such as the abdomen aorta and inferior vena cava. Refusing the accept the surgeon's advice .... this patient pulled some "major cable" and managed to get a prominent person in the health ministry to call this surgeon and demanded that the surgeon perform the operation stating that the surgeon is not being compassionate, etc.

So here we are doing this operation on this patient .... and the surgeon was telling me how he was forced to do the surgery.... but he was not bitter...he just felt sad that his professional opinion was not take . He did the best he could. The tumour was dissected out ... released from the adhesions to the other structures in the abdomen.... he reached the base and he could not operate further as he was not able to differentiate the tumour from the major abdominal blood vessels. So at 11 pm the discussion to abandon the surgery was decided. The only problem now is that when the tumour was released from all the adhesions .... he was not able to close back the abdomen. Therefore now he had to do a "debulking" of the tumour in order to close back the abdomen. At about 1 am, we decided to order some McDonald's to quench the thirst and the hunger pangs.

So the debulking took another 5 hours. The patient had lost a total of 17 liters of blood. Massive blood transfusion given. 2 cycles of DIVC regime given. A lot of crystalloids and colloids given. The patient was kept warm with the warming mattress and the hotline. Serial ABGs and dextrostix and haemacue was taken to monitor the patient. The patient was transferred to PACU post op for monitoring and ventilation. At 8 am the patient was fully conscious and alert and he was extubated. At 6 pm he was transferred back to ward as all the parameters were normal. All his blood investigations came back as normal.

Night shift staff nurses

Tools of the trade
Keeping count of the blood loss
The CT Abdomen showing the extend of the tumour
The surgeons and nurse hard a work.
And me .... watching over the patient.

But my mind was thinking about what the surgeon had to go through.... and that nowadays I have seen people questioning doctors and forcing them to do things against their own better judgement because the patient or the family member know some VVIP. I have heard many times .. that this is a VVIP so therefore it is ok to do the operation even though fasting period is not enough ..... this patient is this someone and that someone's relative blah blah..... oh this patient is Pengarah's relative lah ... etc etc .... for me I believe that all patient deserve the best care be it the Prime Minister or a beggar. These are the times I feel helpless and discouraged working as a doctor. People have lost the respect for doctors ... yes no doubt there are some doctors out there who are abusing their position but most of the ones I had spoken to ... have a genuine concern and selfless sacrifice for the patients under their care. I wonder how long I will continue in this profession.