Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Soul Mate

video



Natasha Bedingfield - Soul Mate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone



This song has been on repeat since I first heard it. It was recommended by Fable Frog. I can identify with the lyrics. Just wanted to share with you all.

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Happiness


Happiness .... what does it mean ? It is different things to different people. How do we define happiness ? What makes us happy ?

I am currently reading this book : The 100 simple secrets of Happy People by David Niven, PHD. I got it for 50% discount at popular book store. Currently at the no 10th secret ... still another 90 to go. But what I have read so far made sense. And I wanna go into 2009 with a different mindset.

Invitation to the Christmas Celebration in Alson Klana

Dear all ... you are invited to come for the Christmas celebration in Alson Klana Seremban.

Hope to see you.

Take care and God bless.

Cheers

Monday, 22 December 2008

Update on Christmas Presentation in Terminal One Seremban

Just wanted to let you guys know that the Terminal One management had asked my church to perform earlier at 6 pm instead of 630 pm. So I will be in Terminal One at 1 pm helping to set up the stage.

I will be wearing a beige kurta and hope that all will go as planned.

Take care and Merry Christmas!

Cheers

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Christmas Presentation at Terminal One Seremban

There will be a Christmas Presentation by my church in Terminal One shopping Centre in Seremban. I will update further with the right time for the show. Do drop by if you are in Seremban as it is a short drama and I will be singing a solo .. "You raise me up" sung by Josh Groban. I will be wearing my India outfit .. "kurta" which I bought from Asansol, India.

How time flies ... it is already the last month in the year 2008 and just another 2 weeks we will be in 2009. I have been swamped with work and meetings. I did not realized that there are so many meetings to attend. I hope that I will get over my "narcolepsy" soon during meetings or I will need to bring a pin along to prick myself so that I can stay awake during the meetings.

I have been thinking about my life .... I usually do that a lot when it is nearing the end of the current year ... I see how far I have come in my life .. how I have progressed ... have I improved or deteriorated ( health wise I think I still have a long way to go but I am getting there ) .... I also realized that I have a lot of new friends ... people who can become great and lifetime friends in the long run... I just need to reach out and get out of my shell.

I am really looking forward to Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus because He is the reason for the season. There is no life apart from Him.


UPDATE : The show will be on 22nd December 2008 ( Monday ) at 630 pm. Hope to see you guys there.

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Anchor in the midst of storms

This life is full of surprises ... my life is full of surprises ... failed dreams .. dashed hopes ... failed relationships .... but yet there is an anchor in the midst of storms. When things do turn out the way I want them to .... I want to blame someone or something or myself ... God always get the brunt of things.... coz He is the first person I will run to .. to pour out my heart ... He alone see the silent lonely tears. He alone see the longing in my heart. He alone sees the brokenness in me. He alone sees the real ME under all the brave front that I put in front of everyone. If not for Him I would have fallen apart with all the surprises that life brings into my life.

I believe there should be a balance in life .. in everything we do.... we need to know pain in order to appreciate relief/joy, sadness in order to appreciate happiness .... all these adds up to what we call life. I always remember a sermon which spoke about baking a chocolate cake. There are so many ingredients which all taste differently but they come together when well mixed and baked ... we get a yummy chocolate cake. Flour by itself will take yucky, sugar too sweet, raw egg erm gooey, chocolate powder bitter etc ... but when all these ingredients are mixed together we get a chocolate cake. That is how life is made up .. there will be bitterness, sweet times .... ups and downs and these all make our lives colourful.

Somehow there are times circumstances will get me really down but I am out of the game yet because God is always there to hold me close .. to give me strength till I am strong enough to walk again.

Since I have started to make a commitment to give my tithes, many things had happened in my life which are trials which try to shake my faith in God. I must say that it was not easy, there were times I wanted to give up and just give in. But some how there is a still small voice which keeps telling me ..." Test Me and see ... I do not change for I am the same,today and forever. Test me and see My child." and that is what keeps me going.

I might be reaching a crossroad soon in my life. I might be transferred to another department .. a new environment again. Should I welcome it with fear or delight ? Only time can tell. I rest in the assurance that my life is in His hands and He will always have the best intention for me. Amen

India Mission Trip Video

My friend has uploaded a video clip of the church mission trip to India. You can find more about my church here.

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Me the Hermit

One of my blogger friends calls me a Hermit.

Definition of a Hermit

her·mit
(hûrmt)n.
- A person who has withdrawn from society and lives a solitary existence; a recluse.

Maybe there is some truth in that statement. I could just sit at my apartment the whole day and not go out at all. I don't call anyone or sms anyone. I can just read my books or watch TV or play computer games or my PS2. Maybe I have conditioned myself this way.

I tried to think back when I started becoming a hermit..... it started when I went overseas to study. I was on my own most of the time and I learned to keep myself busy so that I don't think too much. The habit was further ingrained into my system when I started working as a houseman in Klang. During that one year I never saw sunrise or sunset. I got up at 530 am to go to work and would come back late at night. And this went for a year. I did not have a social life. I kept to myself coz I was just too tired to go out or my schedule was just too busy. I learned to keep myself so that I will not expect.

When I became a medical officer, the ingraining process continued as I could not run away from doing the 24 hours on calls and I was usually working on public holidays and weekends.... eventually people stopped calling me to hang out .... coz I was always not free. When I was free, they were working. Deep down I still wanna reach out and hang out with others ... to me I don't need a whole bunch of friends ... I don't believe in numbers but I do believe in quality. A handful of close friends is all I ask for. I wont go around making friendships which wont last. To me everyone is special in their own way .... and I do treasure friendships.

When I came to KL, I think it was when the ingraining process was set in stone. Outwardly I might be a bubbly person .. I look outgoing but inside... I think I have hidden myself under many layers of defense ... to protect myself. I force myself to stop expecting, to stop wanting because I will end up getting hurt anyway.... and my work schedule was not conducive.

That is why I can just sit at home during my holidays and not go out at all. Maybe it is better this way. I am tired of reaching out. So far it was all just empty promises and words from others. Words are cheap nowadays. We make promises which are meant to be broken. I have had my share of fall outs with close friends which until today I still can't figure out what has happened....but I learn to move on ... put on a brave front and move on but deep inside I am still hoping that someday somehow I will find some friends who will be there for me and that I can be there for them.... and that our words will matter and the promises made will be kept. Words without actions mean nothing nowadays. Maybe that is how I see people nowadays...... I see whether they mean what they say by their actions more than their words. I treasure friendships and I take it very seriously and I will be there for them but now I am learning to be more cautious..... to hold back a bit....because the layers of defense over the years are still holding me back....which is a protective mechanism.

Some people say that I hold back when I blog. In a sense there are some truth in it .... you never know who is reading your blog. And I believe in being prudent in whatever we share. Some things are best kept secret and for our own eyes only. Most of my blog entries are from the heart. I try to be as real as possible. And I prefer you to get to know me for who I am instead of just having a preconceived idea of who I am from the way I blog.

Yeah in sense maybe I have chosen to be a hermit.

A cold place

I can work anywhere ... I don't mind the long hours and the extra work etc but one thing that really gets to me is the interpersonal relationship. I feel the new place I am working in is such a cold place. There are some who just walk pass you as if you are transparent. I greet them but they just walk past me and these are people who I did not have any dealings in the past so there should not be any past grievances. I don't feel a sense of teamwork or belonging over here. Each of us just mind our own business. I don't even know any of them who are in a room locked up with a security code ... we are in the same unit but in different departments but on the same floor.

When it comes to lunch time, I step out of my room and everyone is missing. I have been here about 3 months and yet I still struggle to find someone to have lunch with even though I have regular lunch hours now. So I am planning to pack lunch and just stay back and catch up on my reading and maybe I can close the window and do some crunches to tone up a bit.

Well that is my new place ... yeah great working hours but no sense of belonging or teamwork. I might get transferred to another unit as well. Oh well I have been through in life so far now ... nothing I can't handle as life never turns out the way you want to.

Sunday, 7 December 2008

Diiner with Anton and Keen

I finally managed to set up my desktop and do some photo editting. Keen already posted some pictures on his blog. I met Anton and Keen dinner at Shabu Shabu last Thursday and it was great meeting them. Yes I was with my camera again but I did not bring my dslr.

Keen was quite at first but eventually he warmed and started talking more. While Anton and me had spoken on the phone before so it was like meeting an old friend for dinner.


Keen Yee .... the shy guy :)
The 3 of us ... the waiter helped us to snap this picture.
Yummy food at Shabu Shabu

It was great meeting them and hope to hang out more often. We were cracking so many jokes and laughing so much that my cheek hurt :)

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

3 day course

I will be attending a 3 day course starting today ... I hope I won't fall asleep. I have this tendency to be narcoleptic during meetings ... don't know why .. I pinch myself, slap myself, take coffee/tea but as soon as I spend into the meeting room, I will fall asleep. Got a few deadly looks from others when I started dozing off ... good thing I have not reached the state when I snore or salivate ..... phew.

I better make sure I sit with people I know so they can give me a kick to wake me up.

Ok guys have a great day.

Cheers

Monday, 1 December 2008

A few updates

Just a few updates on what is going on in my life.

1. My walk with God

The India mission had left an impression in my life and it was during that trip that God spoke to me about many areas in my life ... things that I had swept under the rug ..things which I had been running away from ... He managed to corner me and help me decide on certain things in my life .. reassuring me that He will give me the strength and the grace to face it. He told me that He will never leave me nor forsake me and He will never ever let me go through more than I can handle.

A few issues ( let it out in the open so that I am accountable )

A. Tithing

I had always been thinking of doing it regularly but I kept pushing it aside. I used to tithe regularly when I was still in the music ministry and in Seremban. When I came over to KL with the increase in expenses .... etc ( see I am giving myself excuses again ) .. so my tithing became irregular and there were months I did not tithe but still the still small voice keep nudging at my heart.

This is the verse He kept reminding me :

Malachi 3:10 (Amplified Bible)

10Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.


So once again, I asked Him for strength to carry on giving tithing and last Sunday, I made sure I gave my tithes.

B. His Word

I have been a Christian for 20 yrs now .... and I realized that I am lacking in one area ... it was a solid foundation in the bible. Yes I know the verses ... I can quote a few bible verses from memory but I dont know all the background history ... I dont know the Greek/Hebrew origin. My church has always been very solid in teaching of the Word of God and both of my Senior Pastors take the trouble to dig into the Word of God and prepared their sermons for the church on Sat/Sun. That was the conviction that God nudged into heart ... so when I got back from India, I asked my pastor for recommendations on what materials to get ... so I bought a NJKV study bible and a Woods Bible Commentary book


C. Serving God

I only truly feel alive when I am serving God and do His work. So I am still praying that somehow I will be able to find a church here in KL where I can call my home church as I still go back to Seremban whenever I can as there is where I know that I belong.


2. Macbook

I am still trying to set up my macbook ... in the process of installing the programs etc therefore still not able to edit my photos .... and they keep piling up coz I keep taking photos ... :) Still have lots of India photos to share. But I was able to get World Of Warcraft (WOW) installed and updated .. so I have been doing some major leveling up with some friends ... currently level 45 Shadow Priest.

3. Health

I have been taking the supplements by USANA regularly and I can say that I dont get tired that easily now but of course it cant replace the hours lost staying up to play WOW. I am learning to slowly unlearn the bad habits that I have accumulated over the years since I started work .. junk food, snacks, etc. I am still trying to jump start my salad thingy. My weight still remains the same and I feel the strain on my joints but I dont want a too drastic weight loss. I am cutting down on my portion during meals. More frequent smaller meals. I need to learn how to cook for myself as I am usually eating out ... since I am staying alone .... kinda lazy to cook.

4. Photography

I am still snapping away with my Finepix F100Fd though my Canon 350D is collecting dust and hopefully not getting fungified .... I will be doing a photoshoot of Fable Frog one day. I am looking forward to it as he is someone who is very creative and he is a natural model.

I am also looking forward to doing a pre wedding photoshoot for my best buddy in Bali next year in March. I have already taken some photos in India and I have already obtained their permission to share some of the photos in my blog later :)



So here are just a few updates on what is happening in my life ..... hopefully get my macbook settled and I can start posting photos again :)

Take k and have a great day

Cheers !

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Under the weather

I crashed my macbook last night ... I guess too much time on World of Warcraft. So I had to reformat and reinstall everything from scratch. This only happened like 3 times since I bought my macbook which is 2 yrs old now. Previously when I was using Windows XP I had to reformat and reinstall quite frequently. So had to stay up late reinstalling the OS and most important was installing Warcraft and getting the latest updates ...hehe. Currently playing a lvl 36 undead priest and I cant wait to get my shadow form when I am level 40.

Unfortunately this morning after I arrived at work, my nose became stuffed and I started sneezing ... now down with a fever and a bad flu. Duh and it is only half day. Need pop in some decongestant and my multivitamins. Hopefully it will clear up soon.

Anyway I am looking forward to the weekend .... I will be going back to Seremban .... I am getting involved in the Christmas program where I will be singing and there will be practice on Sundays. Really looking forward to it ... and I had not sang in ages .... hopefully wont croak like a frog :)

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Back to work today

Got up at 530 am .... just lying in my bed ....I had a great weekend in Singapore catching up with old friends. Will update when I get my photos sorted out. I will not forget the trip as I was sweating plus plus in my car as the air cond broke down as soon as I drove into Singapore so I was driving in the heat for 3 days ... but thank God that it was a cloudy and rainy 3 days :)

Ok I better get ready to go to work. Take k guys.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

Landed in JB

Landed in JB and cytusm drove me around JB and we had wan ton mee for supper. He took me for a short tour around the city and we stopped to take pictures of some nice places .. will post the pics when I get back to KL.

Tomorrow I will drive to Singapore and spend the weekend there with some old friends :)

Good night and have a great weekend

Friday, 21 November 2008

I talk to God about everything ... I even ask for a parking place

I talk to God about every thing in my life. I tell Him about my ups and downs. I tell Him when I am hurting and lonely. I tell Him how thankful I am that He is part of my life. I talk to Him all the time ..... I talk to Him about my work, my finances, my health, my dreams and desires. I ask Him to search me and know me and lead me in the path that is right for me. I always pray that His will alone be done in my life and that He will use me to glorify Him alone.

Another thing I also ask Him for is a parking place whenever I drive to work in Hospital Kuala Lumpur. If I am 5 minutes late, the parking near to my office will be filled and I really hate double parking and blocking another car ... so usually I will end up parking at the farthest parking near the football field where it takes me about 10-15 minutes to reach my office by walking. Yesterday morning, I was frantically praying for a a parking place as I about 5 minutes past 730 am to reach the hospital...... drove near the covered parking and I noticed an empty spot but I thought it was reserved for someone else as there was a yellow label on the floor and there was a Toyota Vios following very closely behind... after I passed the spot only I realized that "Hey I have parked there before !!! " Oppss it was too late to reverse as the Vios was already squeezing into the parking place.... and I smiled to myself ..... God answers prayers but sometimes I am just too blind to see the answers and the blessing. I said a prayer of thanks to God for the parking place and for blessing the Vios driver and I asked Him to make me more alert and more receptive to the way He works and be alert when He answers my prayer.

Matthew 7:7 Holman Christian Standard Bible

Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will fine. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Day 2 : Asansol Part 3 after the orphanage visit

After the orphanage visit, we walked back to the home where we are staying. On the way we notice a peculiar sight which a common practice in India. Notice the things on the wall of the house ?

A closer view of the things put on the wall..... erm they are actually dried cow dung ... which they will use later as firewood to cook their meals. A very innovative way.
Back home after 15 minutes to a yummy lunch .... fresh vegetable salad ... very nice
Mutton curry with rice.

After lunch we took a short nap and decided to go out shopping before we go to Darjeeling tomorrow as our schedule was quite packed.
One of our local Indian friends drove us to town for some shopping. There were a lot of alleys like this one packed with shops.
The side walk was crowded with people and shops.
We managed to get some kurtas ( for guys ) and curidas ( for girls ) at the Mohan Shopping Centre.
Made a new friend at the shop .... anyway I gave up buying new clothes as they just did not have the size for me .... really need to lose weight :)

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

A reminder to myself

I like going through my old posts to remind myself of how far I have come in my life ... and also a reminder of how faithful God is to me.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and made some new blogger friends .... and it amazes me how creative they are. Some can really pour their heart out in words. Some can take breathtaking photos of nature, things and themselves...amazing. Some are very creative with photoshop ( I only know how to do the sharpness, levels, resize and put my watermark). Some can really cheer others up with their candid post. Some are very imaginative and very descriptive. Some can blog about anything under the sun. Some just ramble. And I realize that I am not one of them ... I can never blog like them ... I was telling Twilight Zone that I should stop blogging as I felt that I had nothing much to share .... I was not up to par with the others. I don't get many hits and I don't get many comments.

After going through my old posts ... I was reminded again why I started this blog at the first place. I realized that this is me .. take it or leave it and that I should never compare myself with the other bloggers as all of us are special and unique and we each have our own stories to tell. So I will be myself and remain true to why I started blogging at the first place. It is a reminder of God's goodness and faithfulness to me because I tend to forget sometimes how far He has walked with me in this journey called LIFE.

Thanks for visting me and dropping a line or two. And thanks to my silent readers as well .... do drop a line or two so that I can get to know you too.

From my previous post in 2005

Why do I blog ?

Hmmm was thinking about this question the whole day.... I was reminded why I blogged ... I started off wanted to tell of the goodness of God in my life ... yes in all my imperfection He loves me so unconditionally.

Oh my wandering heart .... so easy to stray from Him ... from the One person Who alone can fill the void/emptiness in me ... but yet I sometimes go around looking for substitutes to fill that aching void inside ... that is what I realise as I started reading other blogs .... all of us hurt and all of us have an emptiness within which need to be filled ..... we try to fill it with many things (alcohol, drugs, sex, chocolates, whatever to numb the pain) and yet we are not satisfied .... yeah we go looking for the next "fix" ...

We all want to be loved and to love and we will do whatever to get that sometimes ... I have done it too ... made a fool of myself ... a fool for love ... just to belong ... just to feel wanted ..... little did I know that I needed to realise that I belong to God ... and that I need not jump around and do things to win His heart as He already loves me anyway ... and that assurance gave me to peace to start loving myself and this enable me to love others with no string attached .... yeah He gives abundantly....

Yes it hurts ... life hurts ...... love hurts ..... when we make ourselves vulnerable to others ... we get hurt .... but hurt we must if we are ever to truly appreciate love ... yes we all need to go through it .... in the end do we want to continue to love and get hurt or shut the whole world out and keep to ourselves .... no man is an island and we all know that and feel that .... I am single and there are times I feel really lonely ... due the nature of my work ... when I am free .. my friends are not .. when I am working ... my friends are free .... and I work also during public holidays ... but life goes on ... yes the world still spins round and round.....

Well back to the reason why I blog... I am very forgetful and when I go through hard times I sometimes forget that God had brought me through so much in life. And this blog is a reminder to me about how far I have come in life ... yes still a long way to go ... unless some mishap occur in my life ... duh .... yes it is a reminder to me that whatever hard times or trials or headache or obstacles .... I will finally get throught it someday .... like after winter there is always spring ... yes there is always light at the end of the tunnel ... therefore I will continue to blog to remind myself to move on with life and not lose heart at setbacks because tomorrow is a new day and there is always hope when I dont give up ...... Life is meant to be lived to the fullest with it sweetness and bitterness ... and in the end I will emerge stronger ... and wiser ... hopefully .... so come let's walk together, you are not alone ... I am your fellow traveler ....

I love school holidays

I love school holidays !!!! I can get out of my apartment at 705 am in USJ and reach Hospital KL at 745am which is amazing ... otherwise it would have taken me one and a half hours on a normal day .... yippeee I have one month of "less" jam while driving to work. Though driving back from work is the same chaotic one hour plus plus long drive. Yesterday I was stuck in the jam from Sunway Pyramid and it took me ONE HOUR to reach my apartment. I am glad that I have a Perodua Kenari where I can just squeeze in and out of jams....too bad it could not fly me back.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Yippee Petrol price down to RM2 !

Yippee .... good thing I did not pump petrol yet ... today stated in the Star newspaper that the petrol prices had dropped to RM 2.00 !!!!! the link is here. I wonder if it will drop any further.

Anyway it is good for me as I will be driving to Johor and Singapore to meet up with some friends over the weekend. There a couple of friends in Singapore who I have not met face to face but I have I known them for 7 years !!! We all met while playing the online game .. Ragnarok. Now they have migrated to World of Warcraft . ( I am taking a break from WOW for now )

Monday, 17 November 2008

Day 2 Asansol .. part 2 - to the orphanage

Oppss ... this picture was supposed to be posted in the part where we stopped for tea on the way to Asansol .... you can see how "clean" the kitchen is ... ;)
After we have rested for a while after breakfast, we walked over to the orphanage..... consciously staying clear of the cow dung all over the road.
The orphanage is about 10 minutes walk.

An Indian lady hard at work carrying back firewood for cooking
The kids in their classroom



The kids performed a few songs for us ... and all of them are very talented.
Me the photographer for the trip :) and my friend as the camera man

Praying fervently
Managed to hang out with the kids after the performance .... they are so innocent. Most of them are unwanted kids and some are just picked up from the streets so that they can have shelter,food and a place to call home. Makes me thank God and appreciate the fact that I have a family and a place to call home.

Back at work

Finally back at work ..... so many emails to read and so many deadlines to meet but I am happy .... coz the trip was worth it all. At least for now I know what I need to do for these next few months .... study the word of God, watch my diet and exercise so that I can walk around in my shorts in Bali in March 2009.

Ok back to work ;)

Sunday, 16 November 2008

The God Who knows me completely

Psalm 139 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Psalm 139

The All-Knowing, Ever-Present God
For the choir director. A Davidic psalm.
1 LORD, You have searched me and known me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.

3 You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue,
You know all about it, LORD.

5 You have encircled me;
You have placed Your hand on me.

6 [This] extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.
It is lofty; I am unable to [reach] it.

7 Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I go up to heaven, You are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.

9 If I live at the eastern horizon
[or] settle at the western limits,

10 even there Your hand will lead me;
Your right hand will hold on to me.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me,
and the light around me will become night" —

12 even the darkness is not dark to You.
The night shines like the day;
darkness and light are alike to You.

13 For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I will praise You,
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know [this] very well.

15 My bones were not hidden from You
when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all [my] days were written in Your book and planned
before a single one of them began.

17 God, how difficult Your thoughts are
for me [to comprehend];
how vast their sum is!

18 If I counted them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand;
when I wake up, I am still with You.

19 God, if only You would kill the wicked -
you bloodthirsty men, stay away from me -

20 who invoke You deceitfully.
Your enemies swear [by You] falsely.

21 LORD, don't I hate those who hate You,
and detest those who rebel against You?

22 I hate them with extreme hatred;
I consider them my enemies.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.



This was my pastor's passage for her sermon today. It never fails to amaze me how God knows me completely ... He knows just the right word, the right person to send into my life. And this passage spoke to me ..... deep down in my heart. I was held by God and He will never let me go.

All I can pray was

Search me

Know me

Tell me

Help me.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Feeling blue again

Just been back a couple of days and I already miss the people in India. I have made some great friends. I am really not looking forward to work next week. I am not looking forward to lonely dinners and nights by myself in my apartment. I am not looking forward to the jams in KL. Bills to pay ... so much distraction over here .... things are superficial ....... Over there there people had so little but there was contentment and we had each other ..... I was reminded about how to live my life...... I went to India to minister to others and to touch lives, in the end they were the ones who minstered to me and touched my life.

Over here, loneliness is my constant companion..... something which I still struggle with. Maybe someday I will go back again and stay a bit longer if time and finance permits. Until then, I will just have to keep on moving on.

My 2 constant companion

My job during the trip was to shoot photos and I was armed with my good ole Canon EOS 350D fitted with the Tamron f2.8 28-75mm lens and my compact camera, Finepix F100FD.

During meetings, I will usually use my 350D with my flash for indoor pictures. Most of the time when I am in the meetings I will use my finepix f100fd for candid shoots and wide angle shots. I found that it was helpful to have both dslr and compact camera along and because of that I was able to capture a variety of shots. I even managed to take a few pre wedding pictures for my friends who will be getting married next year... as they are also in the team from Malaysia.

Day 2 : Travel to Asansol

After the 2nd team from USA arrived in Kolkata ... it was time to load our luggage on the vehicles and travel to Asansol which was a 5 hours drive.
It was a quiet and dusty and smoky night.... our luggages being loaded on the Tata
Kolkata International Airport ... Adious till I see u again on Nov 13th
Driving on the highway .... very very dusty and bumpy.... and sometimes we get cows and dogs and people crossing the road... and I have even seen a vehicle on the same line in the opposite direction !!!!
Can u imagine this happened on the highway ????? Apparently the truck wanted to go to the other side of the road ... and it caused a major jam.
Time for a short break of masala tea before we continue the ride to Asansol. Yummy tea but I dont want to know how they made it :)
Uncle busy sleeping in his little hut .... business open for 24 hours
Finally arrived in Asansol at about 6 am ... and was greeted with warm welcomes and FOOD !!!! I was famished
Scrambled eggs with chapati ... a nice combination ... and I goppled it all down.

Time for a short nap before we head over to the orphanage.

Friday, 14 November 2008

Day 1 : the day I took a flight to Kolkata

Nov 3rd Monday ... was the day I took a flight to Kolkata, India. It has been 8 years since I left in 2000 after I have completed my medical degree and internship in Manipal, India. It was nostalgia as I will flying back to the country was my home for 8 years when I was studying there ( pre uni and med school and internship ).

We all met at Pastor's house and one of the church mates drove us to KLIA in the church van. We decided to have a good meal of Burger Kings before we are stuck with chapatis, nans and parothas for nearly 2 weeks.

There were 5 of us in the team.
Catching the train to the terminal where we will be catching the flight to Singapore and then transit to Kolkata. We managed to get a good deal and flew on SIA. KLIA was quiet that day.

Lots of empty seats in the waiting place before we boarded the plane.
Landed in Singapore and lining up for the transit flight to Kolkata.
Yippee I get the chose what I wanna eat.
I decided to have the lamb stew.

The flight took about 4 hours and it was about midnight in Kolkata when we landed. We had to wait for the another team to arrive from USA at 1 am before we drove to Asansol, West Bengal.
Zonked out from the trip but still cant sleep yet.
More later when I get the pictures sorted out.

Cheers