Monday, 26 November 2007

RyanDan - The face

RyanDan - The Face

Traveler of the great divides
Vagrant on a path to life

Everyday feels a little closer
To where it is that you're headed for
Given to a hope of so much more

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face
You'll see my face

Think you're on this road alone
Looking for a truth untold

Many times you've been close to breaking
Giving up and letting go
Something inside says it's not over

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face

And when the world crowds your space
Remember days when noise was silent
Now empty vows, loveless displays
Just a sense of knowing
You'd see my face
You'd see my face

Thanks for all the prayers .... been just resting at home.  I did not know that I was so exhausted until I had these few days off to recuperate.... I realized that I am burned out mentally and physically.  I am also able to spend more time with my parents after installing the wireless router or else I will always be upstairs surfing the net.  

Suddenly felt really aimless ... all these years of striving to be someone .... suddenly all crashed to the ground in a million pieces.  That is why I feel so aimless now.  I had kept my life on hold for so many years to be successful in my masters program.   It is finally sinking in.  The shield is breaking.  Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about what I want to do with my life now.  Outside to try to put on a brave and smiling face but deep inside there are uncertainties at what the future had in stored for me.  And though I wanted to push it aside for awhile but the nagging thought is always there ... " what do you want to do with your life now ? "

There is one thing I realize ... I am only truly alive when I am serving God.  And this song reminded me again that all the matters is when I look at His face.... life is all about Him.  And yes God ... I will keep seeking Your face.

So I have a short list of things to do :

1. Get my health back 
2. Learn the piano again so that I can serve in church ( I inherited my sis digital piano)
3. Go to India in Nov 2008 for my church missionary trip
4. Get involved in the church in USJ which I am attending
5. Catch up with friends
6. Learn scuba diving

The list will grow in time :)

Thanks for the prayers and sms.... really appreciate it and means a lot to me.


~just a guest~ said...

So sorry to hear about your current situation.

I am going through a very rough patch myself at this particular time of my life.

I have started to know more about Jesus - for I know He will be the only one that will love my unconditionally and who will never give up on me.

Is everything going to be okay?

sbanboy said...

just a guest
Thanks for dropping by

Life is like that ... it not a bed of roses ... Jesus never told us that life will be easy but He did tell u that we will not go through it alone as He will never leave us nor forsake us. Hang in there.

I will be fine ..... as long as I know that my life is in His hands. He loves me so much and He always have the best in stored for me. The same goes for you ... He always has the best for you...even when things might not turn out the way we want to be. May His will alone be done.

Take k... just drop me a line if u need prayer.

lynnx01 said...

It's good to play the piano again. It is truly therapeutic. Hope you see life in another perspective after this challenge.

sbanboy said...

I am seeing life from another perspective :)

Yup taking up the piano will be refreshing and I am excited to serve God in another area instead of just singing. I used to write songs for Him when I was studying in India where I spend a lot of time alone with Him....nowadays sometimes I let the busy-ness of life get in the way

Josh said...

Sbanboy, God's will is beyond our will. He has a plan for you. Just embrace it, he'll bless u and guide you in return.

CP Waterman said...

Take heart my brother, when you were one piece God could only use just that one piece, now that you are in a million pieces, God can use you a million times over. Hallelujah!
Just wait upon the Lord.
Jer 29:11

Las montañas said...

yes, health is very very very important. Get fit again with lotsa exercise!

sbanboy said...

thanks bro

Amen to that !!!!

las montanas
I realize that now ....