Saturday, 17 November 2007

Reborn ... new beginnings

"The Phoenix symbolizes rebirth.

A phoenix is a mythical bird with beautiful gold and red plumage. At the end of its life-cycle the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises. The new phoenix is destined to live, usually, as long as the old one."

I was just sitting around thinking about what is in stored for me after November.  Brother and sis in law flying back this morning from Bangkok.  Sister's reception tomorrow.  The wedding will be next Wednesday.  My viva exams finish next Tuesday.  Trying to get use to coming back to an empty apartment. My little sister is getting married and she is moving out.

The exams did not go very well.  I could not remember some of the stuffs that I had read so many times.  But I am happy .... relieved that is the last time. I was walking into the examination hall with a smile on my face.  

As I was thinking .... about my exams, life and God .... suddenly the image of a phoenix came to mind.  Glorious new birth in dying to the old things.  I am very excited.  A new beginning.  A new passion.  A zest for life.  To regain back that balance in my life.

Nothing is wasted.  I would not had learned more about myself if I had not gone through these 3 and half years ... the pain, the insecurities, the rejections, the failures, the loneliness, etc .... all these made me stronger.  Therefore each day I get up in the morning .. thanking God for a new day, a 2nd chance and a new beginning.

Well for those who thinks that this blog is depressing.... hmm what can I say.  I can portray that I have it all in control and that life is a bed of roses ... walk around with a smile and hide everything inside.  I had wanted to change the tone of this blog initially but then it would not be me.  I wanted to share that life is short and has its own shortcomings ... but it is worth living...that it is ok to be weak sometimes....  Reaching out to the ones who are actually hurting inside and hiding it well and think that you are so alone..... to you my friend, you are not alone.  Hang in there.  Drop me a line anytime you need someone to talk to or pour out your heart.


winniethepooh said...

life has its up and its its a true reflection of who ure, nothing to feel apologetic about :) years down the road when u re-read ur entries, thats the time for some laughs, cries and memories..:)

hv a great week ahead sbanboy!

fakar said...

take care my friend..