Friday, 30 November 2007

Unveiling of iMac in church

My church purchased an iMac for the video and music editing ..... apparently Kok Hon managed to convert some people into Mac users ...hehe ....

Now for the unveiling of iMac !!!!!!
Secretly concealed within the plain brown box is a Leopard waiting to leap out !!
Now the "true" retail packaging ... the brown box was to camouflage it 
More angles of the box 
Opening the box 
The all in the one monitor on the desk ... back view
Front view
Slow and steady now ... 
iMac booting up .... 
Kok Hon could not stop drooling as he fondled the slim keyboard and the smooth well endowed mighty mouse
Little Panther G4 Titanium ibook with Big brother Leopard Intel Duo 2 Core iMac ..


So now you what to get for me for Christmas or my birthday or for any occasions at all :)

*Pictures taken with SE K810i

A 5 minute lunch

Now that my sister is married and she had already moved out of my apartment.... I had to figure out ways to cook express meals ... there are days I will just have some milo, oatmeal, cereals or biscuits for lunch or dinner... 

So this is what I had for lunch and it took me only 5 minutes.

5 minutes to heat up the frozen vegetable in the microwave oven while I fried the egg... where I added some herbs and pepper to spice it up a bit.... voila I have my lunch ready.

I still have to meet up with dobbs for her microwave all in one recipes.  I even bought a book on how to cook ... maybe that can turn into a new passion ...hehe ... not easy to cook for one person though.

Wow what bliss ... Astro and lunch... :)

*Picture taken with SE K810i

ASTRO I finally have it !!!!!!!

Yes !!!! It is finally here !!!!!  Finally got Astro installed today .... and it was activated within 10 minutes.  And now I can finally watch my favorite channels ... Animax and AXN :)

PS : thanks alot to Spinosum for the tip

*Picture taken with SE K810i

Sony K810i

Finally bought myself a Sony K810i which I can now use for blogging and so far I am really impressed with the photos taken. I am using the Dell Axim as my pda.

It has a 3.2 megapixels camera with xenon flash with macro functions. It also support bluetooth stereo streaming to bluetooth headphones. The sound quality is also very good. I managed to get a headset adapter which lets me plug in my own headphones. I like the fact tha I can upgrade slot in a memory stick to increase the memory to store movies, pictures, music, etc.

*Pictures No 2 and 3 taken with SE K810i

Decision decision decisions .....

I have been getting a lot of phone calls .... people with good intentions and who sincerely care for me ... giving me advice ...
Some of the advice :
1. Stay with the government
2. Quit and go private
3. Get a MBA
4. Do business
5. Be a drug rep
6. Do something totally different
7. Dont rot in government service
8. No point trying for foreign examinations since you have tortured yourself enough
9. Go overseas
10. Erm ... get married 

These are just the top 10 in the list and the list goes on.  I will be seeing the head of department next week.  I still have not decided what to do.  I have been just living each day.  Catching up with old friends ... catching up with my life.... which I had put aside for so long.  

I wish I can have someone who I can just sit down and talk it over ..... someone who really knows me ... my strength and my weakness....coz right now ... I am still in a daze ... I had no plan B because I had set my mind on my masters program.    I hope I will recover soon from the burn out thingy.   

God is good .... He is hold me close and tightly.  

Monday, 26 November 2007

The book I am reading now .. Follow Your Heart

This is the book I am reading now .... Follow Your Heart by Andrew Matthews :)

RyanDan - The face

RyanDan - The Face

Traveler of the great divides
Vagrant on a path to life

Everyday feels a little closer
To where it is that you're headed for
Given to a hope of so much more

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face
You'll see my face

Think you're on this road alone
Looking for a truth untold

Many times you've been close to breaking
Giving up and letting go
Something inside says it's not over

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face

And when the world crowds your space
Remember days when noise was silent
Now empty vows, loveless displays
Just a sense of knowing
You'd see my face
You'd see my face

Thanks for all the prayers .... been just resting at home.  I did not know that I was so exhausted until I had these few days off to recuperate.... I realized that I am burned out mentally and physically.  I am also able to spend more time with my parents after installing the wireless router or else I will always be upstairs surfing the net.  

Suddenly felt really aimless ... all these years of striving to be someone .... suddenly all crashed to the ground in a million pieces.  That is why I feel so aimless now.  I had kept my life on hold for so many years to be successful in my masters program.   It is finally sinking in.  The shield is breaking.  Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about what I want to do with my life now.  Outside to try to put on a brave and smiling face but deep inside there are uncertainties at what the future had in stored for me.  And though I wanted to push it aside for awhile but the nagging thought is always there ... " what do you want to do with your life now ? "

There is one thing I realize ... I am only truly alive when I am serving God.  And this song reminded me again that all the matters is when I look at His face.... life is all about Him.  And yes God ... I will keep seeking Your face.

So I have a short list of things to do :

1. Get my health back 
2. Learn the piano again so that I can serve in church ( I inherited my sis digital piano)
3. Go to India in Nov 2008 for my church missionary trip
4. Get involved in the church in USJ which I am attending
5. Catch up with friends
6. Learn scuba diving

The list will grow in time :)

Thanks for the prayers and sms.... really appreciate it and means a lot to me.

Astro here I come

I have finally decided to get Astro Satellite TV for my apartment.  Anyone know of any offers or free decoders at the moment?  Do let me know :)  

Thanks :)

More pictures of the bride and bridegroom

Since it was my own sister's wedding ... I took the opportunity to take any many pictures as my memory cards can hold ...hehe... on the day of the wedding ... most of us were up by 6 am.  The make up artist came at about 7 am and started applying make up and I took the opportunity to snap some photos.

The bride
The bridegroom
They look so happy together :)
Looking into the future ..... 

As of now ... they had already checked into the Bali Hotel.... I am wishing them a great honey moon.

Since I am free these few days ... need to settle some stuffs as I will be transferred back to GHKL.... I wanna learn how to do some photoshop thingy.  I bought a book by Scott Kelby on Photoshop CS2 excellent book.

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Finally sinking in ......

I guess after a few days it is finally sinking in ...... suddenly feel quite aimless ... something which I had striving for all these years ... where I had kept my life on hold .... yet it is finally out of my grasp.... need to find a new goal ... a new purpose.... so that I can move on.... move with a focused mind and not aimlessly.  But for now ... I know one thing is for sure.. is that I need to get my health back.

Herbal Treat

Been having left knee pain for some time now ..... been using knee support and deep heat rubs ... yet to try acupuncture or acupressure.  So mom bought some herbal massage thingy wrapped up in this cloth.  Actually what you see now is the outer cloth which I had used to cover it.  I have to soak it first and then steam it till it is boiling hot and then apply it over my left knee.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Introducing the Newly Weds .. Mr and Mrs Tan

Finally got down to look through the tons of pictures I had taken during my sister's wedding last Wednesday.... she was so beautiful and he was so smart looking.
The bride
The bridegroom..

No touch ups were done.  Just resize and put in the watermark.  It was great to be taking pictures again... something which I had kept on hold for a couple to months now.

They just came back to have dinner with the family and they will be going for their honey moon in Bali this Sunday.  I am so happy for them :)

I did not make it ..... life goes on

I just found out my results ... I did not make it..... I was hoping that I will make it this time....but I guess there are other things in stored for me.   Time to move on with my life.  And figure out my next steps.

Thursday, 22 November 2007


Finally got back from Kluang .... but I guess exams and the driving and photography and late nights had finally taken its toil on me...... no appetite ... throbbing headache and generalized body ache and also the stress of finding out my results tomorrow. ..... am keeping my fingers crossed.  

Will post some pictures later after asking permission from my sis :)

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

The night before .....

Reached home in Seremban in the evening and found the house buzzing with life ... a few relatives had arrived a day before my sister's wedding to hang out.  Dad packed a lot of food ... satay, noodle, dim sum, etc.

Tons of food
Yummy satay ...
My cousin sister :)
A toast to bride to be ..... the day before she becomes Mrs Tan.  My little sister has finally grown up .... and she will start a family of her own.  In my eyes, she will always be my little sister.

A few of her friends came over to help in concocting a scheme to "torture" the bridegroom tomorrow.... and I received a sms from the bridegroom later in the night asking me to be a spy for him ... ahem ahem ... of course I will help me sister ...hehe... but it was nice to see how my sister's eyes sparkle thinking of her big day tomorrow.  All the best to you my sister and you will always have my support :)

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Finally over....

Finally I am done with my exams !!!!! Yippee !!!!!

I did not know that my body was so tired until I decided to take a nap after I got home from my exams.  I was supposed to pack my stuffs and be back by afternoon in Seremban to get ready for my sister's wedding in Kluang tomorrow.   I just got up and it is already 6 pm .... I guess my body knows best .... the one thing which I had been neglecting for so long.  Time to get back on track.  Took out all the books I wanted to read ..... photography, piano, Harry Porter, etc.  Plan to catch up on all the movies that I have missed.

The results will be out on Fri.  Everything in God's hands now .... I had done everything I could which is humanly possible.

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Reborn ... new beginnings

"The Phoenix symbolizes rebirth.

A phoenix is a mythical bird with beautiful gold and red plumage. At the end of its life-cycle the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises. The new phoenix is destined to live, usually, as long as the old one."

I was just sitting around thinking about what is in stored for me after November.  Brother and sis in law flying back this morning from Bangkok.  Sister's reception tomorrow.  The wedding will be next Wednesday.  My viva exams finish next Tuesday.  Trying to get use to coming back to an empty apartment. My little sister is getting married and she is moving out.

The exams did not go very well.  I could not remember some of the stuffs that I had read so many times.  But I am happy .... relieved that is the last time. I was walking into the examination hall with a smile on my face.  

As I was thinking .... about my exams, life and God .... suddenly the image of a phoenix came to mind.  Glorious new birth in dying to the old things.  I am very excited.  A new beginning.  A new passion.  A zest for life.  To regain back that balance in my life.

Nothing is wasted.  I would not had learned more about myself if I had not gone through these 3 and half years ... the pain, the insecurities, the rejections, the failures, the loneliness, etc .... all these made me stronger.  Therefore each day I get up in the morning .. thanking God for a new day, a 2nd chance and a new beginning.

Well for those who thinks that this blog is depressing.... hmm what can I say.  I can portray that I have it all in control and that life is a bed of roses ... walk around with a smile and hide everything inside.  I had wanted to change the tone of this blog initially but then it would not be me.  I wanted to share that life is short and has its own shortcomings ... but it is worth living...that it is ok to be weak sometimes....  Reaching out to the ones who are actually hurting inside and hiding it well and think that you are so alone..... to you my friend, you are not alone.  Hang in there.  Drop me a line anytime you need someone to talk to or pour out your heart.

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Home : a haven of rest

Count down : just another 4 days to go before my exams.   

Really feel like I don't remember anything.  My books are so worn out and they look like I just salvaged them from the trash.... all highlighted .... little notes on the side .... and every time I read them ...  I don't seem to be able to recall most of the minor details.  But I am glad and thankful to God for what I had gone through,  I had learned to keep going on and all the bashing from previous failures had made me realize a lot of things about myself which would not be revealed if everything was a bed of roses.  Most important, I had learned to accept myself for who I am ... my weakness and strengths.  I had learned to be comfortable and confident in my own skin because of Who God is... and how He see me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Message)

7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

I found this version of 2 Cor 12:9-10 from "The Message" which really spoke to me.   This is exactly what I am doing now ... I quit focusing on my "handicap" and began to appreciate God for the gift...what my portion is right now.  One step at a time... hand in hand with God.

These few years, I had met some great friends ... some lasted and some did not.  I had learned not to hold on so tightly to anything or anyone.  Some did not last due to some misunderstandings which I felt could be worked out if we sat down and talked about it but some prefer the silent treatment and just drop you out of their lives inspite of what you had done for them and what you had go through together.   Some already judged you even before taking the trouble to get to know you for who you are.  So in the end, I realized you can't please everyone.  So I thank God for those who still stuck around and remain as my good friends.... who I can be myself with.... with nothing to prove or to impress....and they had accepted me for just being me.

Yes I had learned a lot of things.  Some are painful, some are happy....but all of them makes life worth living.  I am happy that I am still alive and that I still have a place called Home ... my haven of rest.

PS : sorry if I had not been blog hopping lately ... I will be back in full force after my exams ...hehe..cya

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Not slept a wink

Not slept a wink last night ..... after the black coffee at dinner ..... I was tossing and turning in the bed ... counted sheeps ...... etc .... I think I must make a mental note to myself to stay away from coffee for the time being as I had stopped taking coffee for a few months now.

There goes my day today ..... hopefully a warm shower will help me relax .... and I must make sure I catch up on sleep after work today so that I can still study later in the afternoon.  Just another week to go ...... yippee ...... I can't wait to get it over with so that I can start making plans for the future.

Gonna be walking around with my panda eyes today and I hope I won't fall asleep while putting my patients to sleep.  ;)

Monday, 5 November 2007

Books and dinner

Books and dinner ..... my exams are starting next week on Thursday.  But I am still working till Wednesday and I have about 6 days before the big day.  Anyway life goes on ... I plant myself in the library after work to get some studying done as there are just too much distraction at home. 
My books and gadgets and not to mention FOOD !!!!!!

Today after frying my brain in the library .... a few of us who were studying for the exams decided to have dinner together and we ended up in Black Canyon Coffee Restaurant.  This was the first time I was going there and sister did mention that the tom yum soup was nice.

Coffee (no sugar added ) with jasmine tea

Grilled chicken salad
Erm American Fried Rice .... I don't know why it is called American ... anyway it was just tomato fried rice with sausages and a fried drumstick.

I ordered fried rice with chicken green curry.......I was super hungry so I forgot to take pictures.... and it was yummy.

Sunday, 4 November 2007

I finally made up my mind....

It took me years to figure this out ... and I think I finally figured it out and made up my mind.  The reason why I was struggling so much in my studies .... the reason why I was so depressed and messed up my health and my social life .... over the years I have been losing interest in what I am doing .... I had lost the passion ..... I thought I could regain it .... try to create interest but each day I had to drag myself to work ... force myself to study.... I can't do this anymore.  

So I will still go the exams ..... I will still do what I can .... but I have released it finally .... at last I know why I am struggling so much ... coz I had been trying to figure it out for so long ..... and only now  the "light came on".  Life goes on and life is short and precious.

Been hacked ??

Hmmm I just realized that whenever I load my webpage ..... there 2 pop ups windows .... anyone has any idea how to stop it ?  If there is no solution I will move over to wordpress.

Any suggestions ?


Update : Yup found the cause of the pop up windows .... it was the chat program ... anyone has any suggestion for a "clean" chat program to use in blogger.  Thanks :)

Friday, 2 November 2007

Dowry Day

Today is the day when both families will meet and exchange gifts and ask for my sister's hand in marriage and I am missing it .....a bummer but at least I will get to attend the main day.