I was on call ICU yesterday .... post call today .. as usual I had to rest. It was not like years ago I could still go out and window shop or hang out with friends after my post call. Years are catching up. My body is not like before. I must not abuse it further.... or else I will pay the consequences later. Even now I already feel the effect in my body. I realize that I dont want to be doing 24 hours on call all my life....will my life take a different path later in life ?
But for now ... I have packed my camera into my air tight silica laden plastic casing. I have taken out my books again. Looking through my notes. Just another time .... keep focused. Just another 3 months to go before I break free from this cycle which I have been going through for about 3 years now. I am getting tired. People had meant well and told me things which they think is right .... but the truth is, they will never understand what I am going through or how I feel because they themselves have not gone through the same situation. So I will continue to look to God Who alone sees through all the masks, the laughter, the smile and the brave front that I put on each day as I go to work ... as I face life. He alone holds me together in one piece.
Thanks for the well wishes and prayers .... thanks for cheering me on.