Saturday, 31 March 2007

Dad's birthday...

The main reason I came back this weekend was to celebrate Dad's birthday.. which will be on 3rd of April. We took him for a nice dinner...
Fried pork in sweet and sour sauce
Prawns with "petai"
Sambal belacan kang kong
Yee mee ... for long life
Erm .... fish bladder ???? I am also dont know what this dish is but it is yummy
All of us with dad and the birthday cake we bought for him

Happy Birthday Dad !!!! Have a great year ahead. May all your heart's desires come true. These pictures are actually put up for my brother and his wife who are in Bangkok right for their long overdue honey moon. I want a nephew/niece ... hehe.... miss you both.

McDonald mania

So many people waiting to buy food
2 pies for RM 3 ... yummy
Today the offers ends .... a free burger when you buy a large value meal
Erm .... I rearranged the burgers ..... bought a quarter pounder large value meal and received a free filet o fish ... :D

Well there is one bro, Kok Hon, whom God had brought into my life. There is one thing which we are in the same wavelength and it is FOOD !!!!!! When it comes to food .... man .... we literally "Fei Low Ship (fellowship)". Well we have both repented and started joining a gym.....but today was special ..... we just could not resist the temptation .... one free burger with every purchase of a large value meal..... man how can we say "NO" to that. So I picked him up from work and we drove all the way to McD. Ate our hearts out and literally clogged up our arteries. Well we repented again and vowed never to do it again .... erm until the next free burger offer comes .... :D

Boy can he cook up a storm ....

I just could not help it ... I had to put up these pictures .... well the dishes are ALL home cooked ..... and they are ALL cooked by my sister's boy friend. Wah "chup tow boh" ( found a treasure ) , he will make sure my sister is well fed when they get married .... oppsss ..... let the cat out of the bag .... well you did not hear it from me ..... well I am just glad that I am able to "tumpang" makan ... hehe and yup he can really cook up a storm. Sometimes he cooks a 5 course meal until we cant finish the food. Now you know why I am NOT able to lose weight. It is all my sister's boyfriend's fault .... hehe

You are my King

You are my King - by Newsong

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken
I'm accepted You were condemned
I'm alive and well Your spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again

Amazing Love how can it be
That You my King would die for me
Amazing love I know it’s true
And it’s my joy to honor You
In all I do
I honor You

You are my King
You are my King
You are my King
You are my King

A simple song with simple lyrics with a powerful and deep meaning. I just got back from Seremban last night after getting stuck in the jam for about 2 hours on the way back to Seremban from Subang Jaya. Turned on my Macbook and let my itunes play in shuffle mode. This song started playing ..... and something within me stirred .... the lyrics hitting me hard deep down in my heart. And all within me starting crying out .... Yes You are my King. The lyrics word by word hitting me hard .... stirring me ...breaking the defences ..... breaking my self reliance ... my pride .... it broke through ALL my defences ..... and all I could do was to surrender and lay down my crown ... my right to my life ... my right to do what I want .... I laid it all at His feet....for Him to do as He wish with my life.... to live for Him alone.... to go where He wants me to go ... to do what He wants me to do. In fact when I give away life to Him ... He gives me back even more than I can ever imagine.

Thursday, 29 March 2007


I think I get more studying done when I am working than when I am on leave ..... too many distractions at the home ..the bed or the sofa or the tv or the fridge or Playstation2 or Macbook or internet or or or I find a sudden urge to clean up my room ......... Time to park myself in the library or anywhere to get away from my room .... :D

Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Update - survived my 24 hour call

I just got home .... only slept at 6 am and had to get up at about 750 am for the department meeting where I was asleep half the time. Managed to stay awake during the drive home which took about 40 minutes..... gonna take a hot bath and hit the sack till evening and hit the gym and books.....

The last case was a 11 year old boy who ran into a glass sliding door sustaining multiple laceration wounds all over his body - forehead, shoulder, hands and feet. The cut at his shoulder just missed his neck blood vessels .... a very fortunate boy indeed.

Unfortunately the 56 year old Chinese who underwent the lobectomy did not make it. He passed away in ICU this morning leaving behind his wife and his daughter. We did whatever was humanly possible for him....but in the end it is humbling to realize that there are things which are beyond our control and that our lives are ultimately in God's hands. Makes me realize that life is short and that I should treasure it while I still have breath.

Monday, 26 March 2007

Another busy day

Just taking a short break from working ..... I have been working non stop since 8 am. I am on call for 24 hours today till 8 am tomorrow. Came into work and I had to go into the operating theatre to take over a case of craniotomy .. patient was 38 years old and under the influence of alcohol ... crashed into a truck. He was riding a motorbike. When he was seen in Emergency department, his pupils were already dilated and his GCS ( glascow coma scale ) was 3/15/. His CT Scan of the brain showed midline shift, cerebral odema and subdural haemorrhage. He did not do very well intraoperatively as his blood pressure was lowish and had to be started on intropic support inspite of giving blood and adequate fluids.

Then after this case, I had to continue with a case of Right upper lobectomy for a 56 year chinese male with history of haemoptysis. He was actually planned for an elective lobectomy this coming Thursday.... unfortunately he coughed out about 300 mls of fresh blood and the operation had to be done today. He has a background history of the following... 1) PTB (tuberculosis) in year 2000 which recurred in year 2003 and he completed 9 months of treatment. 2) Bilateral Mycetoma diagnosed in year 2005 (fungal infection of the lungs). 3) Hepatitis C. 4) Diabetes Mellitus 5) Ex- IVDU (drug addict) - stopped 6 years ago. We had to use a double lumen to intubate the tracheal and bronchus so that we can isolate the right and the left lungs. The challenge was having to find a larger intravenous assess for this patient as he has a past history of IVDU.. he has practically used up all his veins and even both femoral veins ( they call it the " highway") for his drug addiction. In the end we had to set a triple lumen on the right internal jugular vein to gain Intravenous assess. Intraoperative .. there was massive blood loss which required blood transfusion and inspite of giving lots of fluids, he had to be started on intropes as his blood pressure was really labile. In the end the surgeon had to remove the whole right lung as it was already damaged by the disease. This case went on from 12 noon to about 7 pm..... we were all exhausted .... sent the patient to ICU for further management ...

Phew .... managed to grab a quick dinner and calm my mind and stretch my legs before I start my other cases ...... just another day in my life as a doctor ...

Sunday, 25 March 2007

Bak Kut Teh ... yummy

Picture taken with my Treo 650

My all time favorite is bak kut teh and my sister's BF packed lunch for us all the way from Klang .... how sweet of him ( Sis ... go marry him now !!!! ) Klang is famous for the bak kut teh and even Wikipedia-bak kut teh mentions that Klang if the Home of Bak Kut Tehs !!!! Wow way to go ...

I love to eat it with youtiao (fried bread stick) as mentioned in Wikipedia-youtiao ... I was trying to figure how to spell it ... Yaw Char Gwai ( literally means oil fried devil )or something like that. I also love to dip the youtiao in a hot hot cup of black coffee .... yummy and heavenly. Care to join me for bak kut teh one day ?

Thursday, 22 March 2007

So far .......

Just a short update on what is happening in my life ...... well my parents are going to China for a week tomorrow with 37 tourist. I wish I can tag along but just need to get through this exam thingy first. Gave them a call today as I had not been home for nearly a month ..... it was great to speak to them again.... to wish them a safe and wonderful trip. They deserve the best that life can offer.

I have been staying back in the library to study nowadays...... I am keeping my mind focused on the task at hand and forgetting about everything .... as a friend told me ... must learn the "out of sight, out of mind" trick .... which is surprisingly easy now that I had fixed my mind on what I wanted to do without giving anymore excuses. I feel good and I am more positive this time ..... I know that I am giving my best no matter what the outcome. To finally pick myself up again and be able to walk with my head held high. I remember who I am .... who I was before I started the masters program and how I have allowed it to be clouded with each failure .... but right now the fog is clearing .... I see myself clearly again. I know who I am and what I want.

There are some who has judged me and categorized me into their mold of what they think I am and some think that I am confused or in denial of who I am ... based on what I write and share in my blog. Well all I can say is that ..... I can't stop anyone from thinking what they want about me as long as I know who I am. And I don't think you can really know me just by reading my blog ..... contact me if you want to know me better ..... I am always open to make a new friend.

Ok enough for now ... need to get back to the books ...... erm is the heart a pump ? What is automaticity? What are the action potentials of the heart ? until later .... over and out

Saturday, 17 March 2007

Regarding the masseur...

I have some requests regarding the massuer that I go to.....I will be going again tomorrow for a 2 hour session. If you are interested in finding out more details and how to get there ... do send me an email or you can chat with me via Yahoo Messenger ... both of these details you can obtain from clicking on "my complete profile". Then I will pass you more information regarding the masseur.

Ok have a great weekend guys ....

Saturday, 10 March 2007

6 weird things you don't know about me

I have been tagged by Shah ... and it had taken me a couple of weeks to figure out what to write .... so here goes

6 weird things you don't know about me:

1. I used to exercise by dancing to Madonna's music .. Holiday, Lucky Star, Material Girl etc ... I practically grew up with music by Madonna, Kylie Minogue and Mariah Carey. Erm that is why I was so thin when I was a teenage. I used to dance for hours until my parents said I should join a dancing contest ( which I never did )

2. I love riding my bike in the rain when I was studying in India. Whenever it rains ... you can bet that I will be cruising around in my scooter all over the campus. .... just love the feel of rain splashing again my skin ...

3. I am crazy about Garfield .... I think there are similarities ... we both love lasagnas and we both hate Mondays..... not to mention the shape now also "sama sama".

4. I love reading Fantasy books (Lord of the Ring, Wheel of Time, etc )..... sometimes I get lost in the fantasy world. I have read Lord of the Rings a couple times and there are times I have a LOTR movie marathon at home ..... I have all 3 movies with the extended version. Snacks by my side .... nice pillow with a thick blanket and the air con turned on ..... heavenly ....

5. I was really really really skinny when I was a teenage and my mom used to "de-worm" a few times a year hoping that I will put on some weight .... well mom ... here is your FAT son
( erm now she hopes that I have worms and tells me to stop eating so much ) .... I started putting on weight in India ...erm India ? Yup it was India which made me FAT .... I love the chocolates there, the "ladoos" India sweet delicacy and of course I stopped dancing to Madonna ....

6. I have walked all the way from Seremban to Port Dickson ( about 32 km ) by foot with a crazy friend of mine ( who I have lost contact with or else we will be doing more crazy things together ). But on the way back we both decided to take the bus back and of course we were both limping when we reached home but it was an experience which I will never forget.

And that completes 6 weird things that you never know about me .... erm I dont think I will tag anyone coz I had to crack my head to come up with these 6 items....still it was good break from reading Pharmacology and Physiology ...

It's Saturday......but on call tomorrow

Just less than 2 months before the exams ..... been getting my brain fried daily with viva sessions, group discussions and studying ..... just hope I can plug up all the holes in time for the exams on May 10th or was it on May 7th ... opsss. .. need to check the dates again.

The headaches do come back when I dont get enough sleep. I tried to limit my sleep to about 4 to 5 hours per day. But I dont think my body can take it. I did it the last 2 weeks .... but I ended up walking around like a zombie and the worst part was that I could not study at night and my body just shut down on its own. I guess I better not abuse it anymore.... coz I has been warned with a throbbing headache which took a few days to go away.

Last week I went for a 2 hours masssage with a sensei who is a lady in her 40s but she has really strong hands. She was introduced by a good friend of mine. She worked on my back and neck for a long long time as she kept saying that there lots of 'knots' on my back and neck. She also mentioned that I have frequent terrible headaches and that I am addicted to Panadol .... hmmm she got that right.... so she suggested using Mint the essential oil to apply on a few spots on my head to reduce to pain and for alertness when I study or work and also to reduce my overall consumption of panadol. Later she massaged my legs ...... and she said that the blood flow is not so 'smooth' at both legs and that I have pain in the legs when walking, standing or sitting too long ..... and that I do get cramps .... wow she was right. So she suggested that I rub some massage oil with "dong quai" to smoothen the blood flow in both my legs. Feel much better after the massage but as excepted I was walking with bruises all over my neck and back.

Recently been looking at books on acupressure to help relieve the headaches so that I can cut down on my consumption of panadol. Ok gotta go ... gonna take a short drive to MPH to get that book, lunch, wash and iron my cloths ( my sis is scuba diving at Sipadan ... lucky girl ), study, wash my bike and then hit the gym later .... will be having dinner with a couple who I knew way back when I was studying medicine in India many many many years ago.

Friday, 9 March 2007

From Jesus with love

My love is patient and understanding
in a world of intolerance
My love is tender and kind when
people are callous or indifferent
My love brings clarity of mind to those
who are confused, rest to the weary,
help to the helpless, and renewed strength
to those who feel that they can't go on.
My love brings peace in the
midst of life's storms.
My love can heal broken bodies. It can
even soothe and mend broken hearts.
My love melts away tension, worry and strain.
My love gives faith and courage in place
of fear, hope in place of despair.
My love is light and drives away the darkness.
My love will descend to any depth to save,
go to any length to rescue.
My love knows no stopping place.
There is no problem that
My love can't overcome.
My love is My special gift to you. It has
always been there for you.
Won't you take it now?

Sunday, 4 March 2007

Thanks for the pain ......

2 Corinthians 12:9,10 (Amplified Bible)

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).

These 2 verses had been playing in my head since doc reminded me about this verse on Feb 24th. I have read it so many times, wrote it on a post it and stuck it on my wall, wrote in my notes, my text books, read it on the pda.....finally now it is sinking in....yes "EUREKA !!!!" I see the light ... finally.

The past sometimes catches up with me ... bringing flash backs of what has happened. Sometimes I analysed the situation and try to figure out how I would have done it if I could turn back time. About friendships/relationships long gone ... or gone sour .... I try to figure out what went wrong... what could I have done to improve the situation. About people who suddenly decide to put on a cold shoulder when the friendship was going so well. The funny part was I still cant figure out what happened ... well I had stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. About my coming exams ... how I struggle to plan out a workable study plan so that I can at least cover the basics ... sometimes I feel that I am fighting a losing battle...but in Christ ... there is always hope as long as I dont give up. Hopefully my body can take the short hours of sleep and abuse for the next 2 months .... hang in there... just another 2 months before a new chapter unfolds.

So I am thankful and will boast of what infirmities,hardships,rejections and weaknesses that I have because when I am weak in my human strength ... that is the very moment when His divine strength will be strong in me. So thank you for the pain, for the cold shoulder, for the hurts, rejections etc .... because when I am crushed, when I have no more strength to go, when I feel so lonely ... He will lift me up and His strength will be made perfect in me. AMEN ... finally I understand in my heart ..what these 2 verses mean ... not just head knowledge but it is engraved in my heart becoming heart knowledge. Thank You Jesus.

Friday, 2 March 2007

A break from reading .....

Been frying my brain since this evening ..... been studying pharmacology.....the interest is coming back but there are more obstacles to overcome. How does one remain positive and unaffected in a negative environment ? How does one keep one's spirit up when there are others trying to put it out ? It took me a long to come to this stage where I am motivated again ..... where I can see a future and a glimmer of hope....... I know that I have a lot to cover cause I dont think I prepared very well for the last few attempts.....and I have this habit of "vomitting" everything out on the day of exams and forgetting everything ... man I am good at that and I have perfected the art of "forgetting"..... I still have 2 months .... I just need to keep positive and my spirits up and not let anyone or anything come in the way ... just 2 months to give it all I have got. I can do it. I must do it ... so that whatever the outcome ... I will have no regrets.

Yup I have come a long way .... I have survived .... got myself out of depression. Managed to get myself out of wanting to quit the course ....... managed to learn how to remain self motivated regardless of the environment or support. In the end I will have to walk this path on my own.... coz no one can study or sit for the exams for me. But these past few years.... I will never forget coz God has literally lifted me out of the dumps. I had never failed so many times in my life and I had never been so low/down in my life. It really shook me to the core .... in the end it was Jesus ... my sure foundation which was not shaken and remained strong and firm ... my anchor in the midst of the raging storms...everything which was "ME" was shaken out .. literally destroyed .... More of Jesus, less of me.

Ok break over ... time to hit the books again. Trying to finish a chapter and there is tutorial tomorrow morning ..... and I am on call tomorrow. Ok take care and God bless ....