Tuesday, 27 February 2007

My life so far ......

I have been in this new hospital for about 2 months now. I must say that I am not so tired physically nowadays. The workload is less. There is more time to study. The interest for anaesthesia has grown again. I just hope that I am not too late to pass the exams in May. At least this time I have started studying much earlier. Just need to keep up the momentum and hope for the best. Whatever happens ... at least I know that I have done my best.

Friday, 23 February 2007

His grace is sufficient for me

I was just looking through my friendster account and I found this entry in my friendster blog .... my first entry .... after that I have been blogging over here in blogger.

October 30, 2005

This is my first post .... just wanted to share about what Pastor Marianne's sermon this morning in church. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I have been struggling with alot of things lately since I started doing my masters program ... I really miss my home, my church and my friends ... and due to my work schedule .. not been regular but I try my best to go back to Seremban. I have been trying to attend a church in USJ but I dont really fit in due to my work schedule.

My exams are from Nov 10 till 18 and studies had not been great. Working in General Hospital Kuala Lumpur is tiring and most of the time I am zonked out after work..... Sometimes my studies get me down ... I feel that I am not doing enough or studying enough .. there are times I am so stressed out that I cant even study. Not much fellowship over here also in USJ ... but God is holding me close.

This is what Pastor Marianne mentioned

Grace will conquer the things that steal the Christian's motivation
1. Guilt and shame
2. Legalism and negativism
3. Petty fighting
4. Small minded intolerance
5. Self imposed restricitions

I do struggle with no 1,2 and 5 and God really has a way to speak right into my heart. Today's message was exactly what I needed to hear and the Holy Spirit really ministered to my heart and I received renewed hope... yes only by grace alone and I will boast in Him alone.

What does grace do :
1. His abundant grace redeems us
2. His abundant grace educates us
3. His abundant grace encourages us
4. His abundant grace involves us

Oh Lord Jesus .. may I never forget the price You had to pay for me ... the Lamb Who sacrificed for me that God may see Jesus in me and be made righteous. Thank You Jesus .... thank You for my 2 pastors (Pastor Chris and Pastor Marianne ) who are intuned with You. May You continue to draw us to deeper levels of intimacy with You and may You continue to consume us with the passion of pursuing You .... Amen

I might start blogging here as most of my church friends are here in Friendster. Anyway I do blog on sbanboy.blogspot.com when I have the time .. Take care and God bless ..

It was good to be reminded again and time really flies . There are time that I feel down and lonely. The feeling are real ..... and I am good at keeping them inside. But once in awhile I let my guard down and show who I really am risking being rejected by the person who I chose to be myself with..... being vulnerable..telling how I really feel ... but sometimes people dont understand as they are not in that situation ..... they have not really felt that way before or struggled with the same issues that I have .... and based on whatever experience that they have I am labelled.... . When I put on my "happy mask" everything goes well. The feelings and the struggles that I go through are real.... so real to me that it cripples me sometimes .... I guess I will continue to keep it inside.... maybe someday I will find someone who can love me and accept me for who I am ( oppss I think I have found Him .... His name is Jesus ). In the mean time I think it is safer to put on my "happy face" and I will survive.

Dear Jesus,

I thank You that You alone sees me for who I am.... the struggles, the pain, the loneliness, the thoughts that go through my head. You alone holds me in one piece. You alone keeps me sane. Lord I surrender again my will, my own human experiences, what little strength I have left and self confidence ... I surrender them all at Your feet. I empty myself before You ... so that there will be no more ME but only You alone who is the God who sits at the throne of my life. May You continue to fill me with so much love that I cannot help but love others and touch lives for Your glory. Yes it is better to have loved than to never have loved at all. So Lord .... Your grace is sufficient for me. Amen

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Manyak Ong Mali

Every Chinese New Year, my family will prepare to roll oranges into the house after the reunion dinner and the prayers. It is believed that as we rolled the oranges into the house, good fortune will come into the household. ( mind you .. please dont roll the oranges out of the house as we dont want the fortune to go out of the house .... hehe) Well the smile on the my parents' face and my sis' were priceless as they enjoyed themselves.....
Get set, ready, GO !

Whatever it takes to roll to the oranges into the house .... hehe
Erm ... they left some oranges for me to roll also ....
Manyak manyak ong mali !!!!!!!

Saturday, 17 February 2007

Reunion Dinner

I always look forward to Reunion dinner..... it is a time when all the members of the family get together for dinner together. As usual mom always cooks up a storm ... she is already 65 years old but she is like a dynamo ... non stop boundless energy and there is no stopping her. Every year my sister will get a hamper from her "godfather" and the hamper contains abalone, huge mushrooms, canned seafood...etc

The menu for this year ..... here goes .... more yummy food ... hmmmm I dont even know some of the names of the dishes.
Salad with oliver dressing
BBQ pork ribs ... my mom's own recipe
Roast pork .... yummy
The main dish of the day ... the soup with abalone, mushrooms and sea cucumber .... erm the 4 of us managed to finish the whole pot of soup .... erm .... mental note ... must go to the gym and burn off all the extra calories

Here is the pictures with all the dishes .... no place like home ...... no dinner like the reunion dinner .... cheers

We miss you bro .... looking forward to the time you will be back with Aoy to join us for the reunion dinner ... it was great to be able to chat with you for awhile over the phone.. thanks for calling back ..... take care.

Breakfast with family... it is great to be home

It is great to be home for Chinese New Year. I have not been home for nearly a month now. I was just recovering from a bad flu, fever and sore throat ( I was on call on Thursday ... so Friday was spend just resting at home with porridge and lots of medicine ). This morning went out for breakfast with my family ( dad, mom and sis ... my bro is still in UK ). It one of the usual shops which my parents had been going for years...... it is great to be home. Familiar grounds. And to spend some precious time with loved ones and close friends.
They were sold on the laksa mee which is my favourite so I ate the wanton mee instead.
Mom wanted to be part of the picture for the toasted butter kaya bread ...
Yummy ... cam ( tea and coffee mix ) drink
The bowl of wanton dumplings with the fish balls
Wanton mee ....


Wednesday, 14 February 2007

I am with you always ... Isaiah 41:10

Taken when I was having an outing with my department in December 2006. I am always fascinated with sunsets ..... whenever I look at nature ... I see God's creation .... I am reminded that He is almighty and that He exists and that I am never alone because He is with me always.

Happy Valentine's Day

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Over and out .... ( update )

Hi guys ... just wanna thank you all for dropping by my blog and leaving comments. My exams are in 2 and a half month and time really flies. After much thought ... I have decided to "really" take a break this time until May 2007. I will start blogging again in June 2007 if all goes well. I really wanna give it my best shot this time ..... and whatever happens in the end ... I will have no regrets knowing that I have done my best and it is also my final attempt.

So guys..... do keep me in prayers. You know my email ... do drop in a line or two. For those who know my phone number ..... it will be great to hear from you once in a while ... a sms or a call will really brighten up my day or for just an update on what is happening in my life.

Ok over and out ... sbanboy signing off .....

Gloria Estefan - Reach Lyrics

Some dreams live on in time forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart
And Ill do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
Im gonna be stronger
Know that Ive tried my very best
Id put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So Ill go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe
All the more that this dream will be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
Im gonna be stronger
Know that Ive tried my very best
Id put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
Im goona be stronger
From that one moment in my life
Im gonna be so much stronger yes I am
Know that Ive tried my very best
Id put my spirit to the test
If I could reach higher
If I could, if I could
If I could reach
Reach, Id reach, Id reach
Id reach Id reach so much higher
Be stronger

Update 13/2/2007 : a few of my friends had been bugging me to continue blogging. Well I guess I can continue to blog but will be less frequency so that you guys out there can still be updated on what is happening in my life. I can also make known some items for prayer request ..... so I guess I am back again ... once again.

The new place of work gives me more time to study and I have been joining some of my friends to group study. And I realise that there is still so much to catch up. But I am NOT giving up. Today while running an operating theatre with my senior ...... he started to ask me some questions ... some basic questions..... I could not answer the questions. ( as I have forgotten most of the things I have read ). He told me that he is shocked that I cant even answer the basic questions and my chances of passing is very very slim. ( He is a really nice guy and he was just being honest with me ) Well I am NOT giving up. I am doing the best I can right now. So guys do continue to keep me in prayers so that I will remained focussed and not discouraged or overwhelmed or get too stressed out over the amount of stuffs I need to stuff into my tiny brain.

By the way ... Happy Valentine's day to all .... :D

Monday, 5 February 2007

Inside Out - Deb Hogan

Inside Out
Deb Hogan
200 WB Music Corp./April McClean Music

Fool that I am, thinkin no one understands. The tears I've cried, the
Pain I choose to hide, no one sees, lookin' at me. All except for One,
Tenderly looking on with those eyes of love.

CHORUS: It's from the inside out, it's from the outside in, He's lookin'
Through my eyes, lookin' through my sin. He who knew me from the
Start sees my heart. From the inside, inside out.

Fools that we are, covering each and every scar. The broken dreams,
The bitter fights and schemes, no one knows, with doors discreetly
Closed. All except for One, tenderly looking on with those eyes of

From the inside, the inside out.

This song has been playing on repeat when I drive to work in the mornings. I spend most of my quiet time with God while I am driving my car or riding my scooter. Many thoughts have been going through my mind these past few weeks. There were laughter and tears which colored my life. A soul mate found but right now I dont even know where we stand. A new place and new faces.... unfamiliar grounds again. Exams just around the corner. Finances rock bottom. Health still a long way to go. Still single. Still lonely. Will I let all these things get me down ? A long time ago .. I will allow these thoughts to really get me down. To wallow in self pity and despair. After the wake up call ... ( I think God just know what to do to get my attention and to get through to me ... sometimes He has to shout and sometimes He can whisper ... erm for me I think most of the time He has to shout or do something drastic to get my attention so that I will finally surrender to Him as I can be quite hard headed sometimes .. fortunately no matter what my heart remains pliable and soft and tender before Him.) ... yup after the wake up call .... I have changed and the people around me has noticed the change. One friend mentioned that I have a passion for life now.... more compassion.

But He alone see the scars, the hurts, the tears, the pain, the broken dreams, the loneliness, the rejections, the misunderstandings ... and I have learned to hide it quite well from others....coz sometimes when I tried to share what I am going through or how I feel with others..... nay let's not talk about that .... He alone sees right through me. I am naked before Him. He sees through the masks the I put on. Yes from the inside out .... He is changing me. Everlasting life ... contagious joy ..... the peace the world cannot give or understands ..... unconditional love .... hope when there is hopeless .......... yes He is changing me.

Friday, 2 February 2007

Why do people speed like crazy ?????

I have been driving in KL for nearly 2 years now ( I was previously working for a year in Melaka where people drive at 40 km/hour ... it was relaxing but a test when the traffic light is green and the person in front of you is taking his own sweet time ... hehe ... but I do miss Melaka.. maybe I will take a drive there again one fine day ). Well with the price hike in petrol ..but I dont see any change in the way people drive their cars .... people still speed like crazy going at 120 km/hour eventhough the traffic light is RED !!!!! I dont mind if they have a death wish but come on lah ... dont drag other people to the grave together with you. Another thing which I still cant get used it ..... is the cutting in and out of lanes without showing any indicators when it is a major jam and it is a crawling traffic .... hmmmm ... I wonder why.

So in order to keep my veins from exploding I have devised a list of reasons why people speed .... for my own ... to make me laugh so that I can remain sane while driving here in KL.

1. The person is rushing to pangsai ( to pass motion ) and he/she cant hold it much longer or he or she already stained his/her seat ?
2. The pregnant wife is due for delivery??
3. Their little frog is drowning at home and they are rushing back to rescue it
4. They have a death wish to end their lives prematurely because ???? More because ???
5. They want to show off to their Ah Beng and Ah Lian friends
6. The cigarette burned a hole in their pants and now it is burning through the underwear ???
7. Loan sharks are cashing after them
8. Their accelerator is stuck ?
9. They are loaded and dont mind burning petrol
10. The car has a mind of its own with a death wish to kill its owner ???

Well I am sure you guys can come out with more ideas .... hehe ..... that is why I am so weary of riding my scooter in KL. And I always say a prayer whenever I drive or ride to work so that I will be alert to the people in front, side and behind me.

Sate Kajang

I had dinner with a friend at Sate Kajang ... finally after hearing so much about it. We decided to give it a try....and it was yummy
That place is super packed .... very large sitting dining areas with tables at the first floor

They made sure were enough satay peanut source and the waiters there were a friendly bunch
Yummy and cooling coconut water

My friend ....

We ordered 10 sticks of fish, 10 sticks of beef and 10 sticks of chicken satay ..... at the rate I am going .... I think I have put back the 2 kgs I have lost or even more ....

The guys making the satay ...

Nice decorations at the restaurant ... there were vintage vehicles all over the place ... cars ... bicycles ... etc

Overall it is was a nice eat out place and the food was yummy ... back to the cross trainer for me ....