Saturday, 21 October 2006

How badly do I want it ?

The holiday season is here. Happy Deepavali to all my Indian friends and Selamat Hari Raya to my Malay friends..... but I will be working during the holiday as usual. I will be working this Sunday and the coming Tuesday and also running rooms for the semi emergency cases as most of my friends "balik kampung" (travel back to hometown)....it has been a usual routine for me since I started working in the government hospital... but I do get my days off during Christmas and Chinese New Year.

Today I was posted in the PM shift in the Neuro OT... it is usually on Friday when the surgeons try to finish off the cases before the weekend. So today I took over a case of anuerysm. My shift started at 2 pm and will last until the case is completed...

Since my exams are nearing ... I have been receiving offers by the specialists for viva sessions .... yup GHKL is busy but we have some great people in the department. I am really glad and grateful for the guidance and help which had been offered by my specialists....we all work really hard.

As I was busy trying to write down the answer to a question given to me by my specialist .... in my mind .... only 3 weeks left .... there are still so many holes to plug up ... still so much to cover ... keep forgetting what I have read ages ago...... as I was trying to squeeze my brain for whatever juice was left in it ... my specialist suddenly walked up to me and said this " You must want it so bad ... you must want it so bad to be a specialist that you will do anything for it ... dont do it for your specialist or your family or anyone but YOURSELF..... coz if you dont want it bad enough, you will really struggle alot.

Suddenly a light just lit up in my mind .... like EUREKA !!!!!! ... I see the light .... I see the light. I thought of the times when I wanted something bad enough I will do anything just to get it ... I will make the effort..make the time .... and I will make the sacrifice and I will not settle for anything less...... then I started seeing myself in my current situation .... did I want to be a specialist so badly that I will do anything ... anything to be one ... or was it que sera sera .. whatever will be .. will be .... I did some soul searching ... realised that I have not placed a value to it in order for me to want it so badly. But right now .... after much thought ... yes I do want it badly ...... and the rest will follow .....what a relevation .... thank You Jesus ...

7 comments:

danialma said...

when you have decided to DO it, yup! you will do whatever it takes to materialize it! let the LIGHT lead you to where you want to go...

-satori- said...

Finally....

dobbs said...

Take care and all the best in your upcoming exams :)

Shah said...

Glad you've seen the "light" bro. Just hope I'll see it too in time for my next attempt at the exams. And thanks for working so that the rest of us can get a break this Raya.

Amazonman said...

You're constantly in my prayers, bro!

AG said...

There's a light at the end of the tunnel...

carcar said...

yes.. how badly does we want it!

im in the same dilemma too, exam tmrw! after 7 yrs of working, now i pick up my school bag once again, but i want to strike the best!

let's excel in our study!