Went to church today in KL .... and the sermon was about "Friendship".... I was sitting there and listening .....it is easy to preach but to actually put it into practice is another thing. Whenever I am free I will drive back home in Seremban to attend my church which I have been attending for about 18 years. Yup I have attended that church since I accepted Christ .... since He came and turned my world around .... yes He is the centre of my being...and always will be.
I have been trying to find a church to call home here in KL but after one and a half years I still have not found the church to call home. Most of the time I am on call working 24 hours in the hospital on the weekends ... if I worked on Saturday, I will try to go to church on Sunday morning but end falling asleep throughout the service as many times I only managed to catch a short nap during my on calls. The church back in Seremban ... the pastors and leaders ... by God's grace ... God had opened a door for me to serve as a cell group leader and also in the music ministry inspite of my busy work schedule ... that is because they had seen me grown all these years. When I first attended the church back home .. I was only a teenager. They were with me thick and thin when I was doing my grade 12 in Canada and later on medicine in India.
But today nearing the end of the service in KL.... someone came up to me and really gave it to me ...
It goes like this
Sis : Isk isk
Me : Why isk isk ? You should be happy to see me ... ( I gave a big smile )
Sis : Yeah but I can count the numbers that you attend church with my fingers
Me : I have been busy with my work and I was on call ( guess what - I am on call again next Sunday- duh ...that is why I do look forward to going to church to workship God and fellowship which I am not getting any here in KL ). When I am free I will go back home for the weekends to see my parents and attend church back home
Sis : I dont believe in long distance relationship. Why are you not attending cell group ?
Me : I am sorry I have been busy. Please understand. I go back home because I feel that I dont really fit in here
Sis : You are not making enough effort
Me : I think I have done what I can within my means ( the truth was I had called and sms to try to meet up with some of the members whenevr I was free but I guess we just did not click. In the end I decided that I will continue to attend church in KL to get the teachings and worship)
Sis : You are not making enough effort and when you are not here it is difficult to know you
Me : I am here during the weekdays ... we can contact via phone and sms and I have told you about my blog so that you will know what is happening in my life.
Sis : I am not into all these techno stuffs ( she used to send me encouraging emails ... but not anymore)
Me : Please understand
Sis : You need to attend here more often and also the cell group and not go back to your home church so often
(Does the number of times you attend church or cell group or whatever meetings makes u more Christian ??? Thank God He alone sees my heart and how I am trying to go to church whenever I have the opportunity)
There is more but I can only remember as it all happened so fast. To tell you the truth, it really cut real deep ..... and it makes me think ... I have been here in KL for about one and a half years and how many friends can I actually call up when I need brother/sister to pray with or just to fellowship or just to have a teh tarik with. I ended up having more friends from a photography forum that I have joined recently. Do Christians really make better friends or are we more hard on one another ??? Are we more indifferent to one another ? I am a stranger here in KL and still looking for a church to call my home....will you open up your heart to let me in ? To make me feel part of the clan/family.
My work had been hectic......having to study also is also another thing which demands my time. I miss my friends in Indian and back home whom I can be myself with ... with no mask ... no pretense ... I can just be myself ... with all my warts and all .... and I miss them so much.
But I am not in despair because in the end .. I do have a best friend and His name is Jesus ... the One who will stand by my side when the world turns its back on me. He had seen the lonely days, the longings in my heart, the hurts and because He loves me .... I can keep on loving and putting on a smile on my face ... because He loves me... yes that is the only reason... I am still attending this church in KL ... until He leads me to another church where I can grow and serve. Thank You Jesus.