Saturday, 30 September 2006

Bukit Jalil Park

Today I went to Bukit Jalil Park to take some photos with tukangtaip, you can check out his blog here with more pictures.... And taking these photos were really relaxing to me. It was refreshing to snap pictures of God's creation.

It was cloudy but all the walking around made me drenched in sweat....oh well enough work out for today.....coz recently I have a friend who will bug me daily whether I had done my bicycling exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes daily .... I must admit it that it feels great to sweat it out and I do feel much better after exercising ...

I did some photo editing with the last picture and put in a sun burst just to enhance the picture a bit ......

Have a great weekend guys

Friday, 29 September 2006

Let's continue the journey

Thanks for the prayers, the support, the emails and the sms received ...appreciate it alot.... the prayers helped alot...... coz I was reminded again ..... I remembered praying about this master program when I applied for it ... I prayed that His will alone be done. My cell group also prayed along with me that God's will be done in my life that He will open a door for me if it is His will and that He will close the door if it is not His will.

I remember when I spent some quiet time with Him before I started my masters program .... He said that He will make me face things that I had been running away from. He did not promise that He will make me a specialist but He did say that He will break me, polish me, mould me into more like Jesus. He will make me stronger through the things that He will allow to come my way. He will make me face my fears, my past hurts and OVERCOME in His strength alone. But somehow when I was so busy trying to catch my breathe while balancing work and studies ... I lost sight of Him. Due to my work schedule ... I had not been regular in attending church when I was in Melaka and now in USJ ... somehow ... I have not really settled down in any church yet coz of my work....when I am free, they are not free.....when they are free, I am not free. I have learned to accept it coz in the end all the matters is that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Thank You Jesus for Your unconditional love and unwavering faithfulness to me when I was being tossed around ... trying to face it in my own strength. All these while You were waiting with arms opened wide for me to run to You ... to face it and overcome in Your strength. You never meant for me to go through this on my own. I have been struggling coz I had been trying to do things my way, in my own limited strength ..... but today Lord... I surrender to Your will, to Your ways, to Your Lordship.....and Lord I offer up my dreams, hopes and ambition at Your feet.

I will NOT let the past hold me from reaching the destiny that You have planned for me. I will live for You alone ..... and Yes life is worth living and life so amazing because I have You Lord. And my future is in Your hands.

Come let's continue this journey....... I will walk with the ends of the world ....

PS Thanks to all my friends who had stuck me through thick and thin.....You truly are a blessing...and God knew just the right person to bring into my life to show glimpses of His love and care for me.

PS The above picture was taken in Bukit Jalil park .... nice place :D

ennifer Knapp - His grace is Sufficient

His Grace Is Sufficient Lyrics
Artist(Band):Jennifer Knapp

I've exhausted every possible solution,
I've tried every last game there is to play.
In this search for the Christ like perfection
I'm convinced I've only left my God ashamed
. I cry I wonder can he hear my despair.
Afraid to lift my hands afraid he doesn't care.
And if he answers and I fall again
can I still be his daughter can I still depend on him.
When I'm down search every mistake, looking for new regrets.
sometimes I forget, I forget that his grace is sufficient for me.
that it's deeper and wider than I can conceive.
His Grace is sufficient for me.
My convictions seem to fade with desperation,
my hope declines with each and every tear.
My sin an anchor and this grace just an illusion.
The gavels heavy and justice is near.
Up comes the light and finds the stains on my hands.
Up comes my pride, I hide, I know he won't understand.
Cause it's deeper than deep and it's wider then wide.
why did I ever doubt now I'm dying inside. (chorus).
His Grace is sufficient!

Thursday, 28 September 2006

How to find it back?

What do you do when you have lost heart or interest in something ? How do you find it back ? How to find back your focus ?

These are the questions in my mind right now and I dont have the answers. I am going against the flow ...coz I think I have lost interest in what I do .... somewhere along the way .... I lost the reason why I did it in the first place. Been trying to back track all these years to find my point of origin and focus .... but I cant seem to find the answers....been praying ... been forcing myself to go work....been forcing myself to continue reading ( not doing much of it either ) .... been forcing myself ..... how long can I put on this act .... and walk around with a mask saying that everything is ok.... when everything is not ok...

At least I always have Jesus to run back to .... Who holds me in one piece so that I dont fall apart. Because of Jesus ... I always have a reason to live each day..

Wednesday, 27 September 2006

A potrait of my sister

One of my friends loaned me a EF 50 mm F1.8 lens and I tried out taking some pictures of my sister ....

Silent Tears

Sometimes it is better to keep the tears inside .. instead of letting it show.... coz not many people will understand the pain that is so real in my life ... so I think I will keep it inside for now ..... I dont need answers .... I just need a listening ear ... a prayer .... a friend who will accept me the way I am for my weaknesses and for now .... I will put on my smiling face and say everything is ok.

But Jesus alone knows ... the tears at night ... He alone comforts ...

Sunday, 24 September 2006

Some pictures taken with Canon 350D

Just wanted to share some pictures taken with my Canon 350D with the 75-300 lens

I find photography relaxing .....

Thursday, 21 September 2006

Happy Birthday Sis

Today is my sister's birthday .... oh how the time goes by .... wishing you all the best that life can bring .... and I am proud to have a sister like you

Life is fragile

Today read in a blog regarding how fragile life is ... he was writing about his friend who is only 34 years ... still trying for a baby ... was diagnosed as having a cyst in her womb and there were cancer cell markers detected in her blood ..... yes life is fragile. We can make plans for 5 years , 10 years from now but in the end ... can we reach it ... can we be sure that we will be around the next minute.... it is scary. And many times we will question God asking Him why .... why must things like this happen... we want answers so that we can ease the pain a bit. Sometimes He remains silent because His ways are so much higher than ours and that even if He tried to explain to us will overwhelm us.

Isaiah 55:9 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

It is reassuring to know that we are precious to Him and that He is in control no matter what happens in our life. He works behind the scenes and He alone sees the complete picture.

Matthew 10:28-30 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[a]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Luke 12:6-8 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

8"I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.

I am reminded daily how fragile life is at the place I work. Sometimes in ICU ... we try out best to revive/sustain the patient but many times they succumb to their illness. I take heart that my life is in His hands and in the end I will see Him face to face...Godwilling ... I will live this life to the fullest and do what He wants me to do

James 4:13-15 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

Boasting About Tomorrow
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

Cats for adoption

Well guys if you are a cat lover ... head over to my friends blog as he has cats up for adoption .....Robin's blog

Give him a buzz ....

Wednesday, 20 September 2006

Sir William Osler

12 July 1849 – 29 December 1919

William Osler was born in a remote part of Ontario known as Bond Head. He spent a year at Trinity College in Ontario before deciding on a career in medicine. He attended the Toronto Medical College for two years and in 1872 received his M.D. degree from McGill University in Montreal. Like many of his fellow physicians trained in Canada, Osler went abroad for postgraduate study. He studied in London, Berlin, and Vienna before returning to Canada in 1874 and joining the medical faculty at McGill. A year later he was promoted to professor. Osler was elected a fellow of the British Royal College of Physicians in 1883, one of only two Canadian fellows at that time. In 1884 he left Montreal for Philadelphia to become professor of clinical medicine at the University of Pennsylvania.

John S. Billings recruited William Osler in 1888 to be physician-in-chief of the soon-to-open Johns Hopkins Hospital and professor of medicine at the planned school of medicine. Osler was the second appointed member of the original four medical faculty, following William H. Welch and preceding Howard A. Kelly and William S. Halsted. He revolutionized the medical curriculum of the United States and Canada, synthesizing the best of the English and German systems. Osler adapted the English system to egalitarian American principles by teaching all medical students at the bedside. He believed that students learned best by doing and clinical instruction should therefore begin with the patient and end with the patient. Books and lectures were supportive tools to this end. The same principles applied to the laboratory, and all students were expected to do some work in the bacteriology laboratory. Osler introduced the German postgraduate training system, instituting one year of general internship followed by several years of residency with increasing clinical responsibilities.

William Osler’s book, The Principles and Practice of Medicine, first published in 1892, supported his imaginative new curriculum. It was based upon the advances in medical science of the previous fifty years and remained the standard text on clinical medicine for the next forty years.

Osler, a superb diagnostician and clinician, was greatly esteemed by his peers in this country and abroad. In 1905 he accepted the Regius Professorship of Medicine at Oxford University, at the time the most prestigious medical appointment in the English-speaking world. He left Maryland with warm feelings for Hopkins knowing that his sixteen years spent had laid a solid foundation for the future of Hopkins medical education.

Some quotations from Sir William Osler ....

“The practice of medicine is an art, not a trade; a calling, not a business; a calling in which your heart will be exercised equally with your head. Often the best part of your work will have nothing to do with potions and powders, but with the exercise of an influence of the strong upon the weak, of the righteous upon the wicked, of the wise upon the foolish.”

“Courage and cheerfulness will not only carry you over the rough places in life, but will enable you to bring comfort and help to the weak-hearted and will console you in the sad hours”

“The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today's work superbly well.”

Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows.

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.

Tuesday, 19 September 2006

Plus sign

Sometimes I can be quite negative ... imagining the worst scenario which can happen ..... so today one of my friends told me to carry a plus sign ......and I was reminded of the cross of Christ .... He came and died for me ... so that I can be positive and live life to the fullest ..... yup that's my plus sign ....

A chat with God

Wanted to share something which I received in the email today ....

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will Chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the Medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just lives it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty...

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes
better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the
lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading...

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside,
you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving In the right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Friday, 15 September 2006

On call today

Today I am doing Acute Pain Service ... but gotta do a case in angio today.....wonder how today will be .... but it will be great coz I am alive and breathing and God is good all the time


And I will be going back to Seremban this weekend as my family is planning to celebrate my sister's birthday.... it will be great ... not been home in like 3 weeks ....

Also I will miss a dear friend who will be flying to UK on Monday. We have just met but it seems like we have known each other for ages...and it is great to have a big brother like him which I never had coz I am the eldest in my family.... my prayers are with you bro wherever you go ...

Tuesday, 12 September 2006

Oppss switched to Beta Blogger

Oppss I switched to Beta Blogger recently and realised that I am not able to comment in normal Blogger accounts and that normal Blogger account holders are not able to comment in Beta Blogger accounts ..... but we are able to comment if we use the annonymous option.

Hopefully Blogger will iron out this issue soon .... :D

Saturday, 9 September 2006

Unexpected Friends

It has been a great 2 weeks for me. Yes I still have the occasion bouts of depression when I think about my upcoming exams but now I have hope and determination that even if I mess it up …it is not the end of the world and I will not give up trying …. And God has brought a few unexpected friends into my life these past few months ….when I needed it the most ….when I was not even looking or expecting it … God sends good Samaritians into my life to help me along in this journey called life which is so challenging and exciting.

Yes they have come and showed that they cared in their own special ways. And it brings a smile to my face whenever I think of the thoughtful things that they have done :

1. A card from USA when I least expected it telling me that my strength will surprise me
2. A dear friend who rushed all the way to make sure that I was ok and safe ( and boy can he speed in his Kelisa … would have made Michael Schumacher embrassed )
3. A call which really cheered me up when I was having the busiest call ever in my life ( I did not even sleep a wink ) … I was really laughing my head off when we were cracking over how “cacat” (retarded) our Chinese dialects sounded and that brought a perpetual smile on my face … and people kept asking me why I could walk around with a smile on my face eventhough I was having so many cases to do
4. A dear friend who will be leaving for his Phd soon in UK who has blessed me in ways more than I can imagine …I am speechless
5. A sms with encouraging bible verses to lift me up and to remind me of God’s promises
6. A friend offering to give me piano lessons so that I can renew my passion for piano to compose love songs to Jesus Who is the lover of my soul.
7. For making me discover laughter again .,… to live life to the fullest

You know who you are …. And you have blessed me in ways that I can never imagine … which makes life worth living. And yes Jesus came so that I can have life to the fullest…

So I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the colours that you have added into my life. For the unexpected friendship, kindness, encouragement, support and love. May God continue to bless you in ways that you can never imagine

Monday, 4 September 2006

5 years down the road ?

Just had one of the worst calls of my life yesterday ..... I worked non stop ..... just got like 5 mins cat naps in between .... it is amazing how I managed to reach home in one piece ..... had breakfast and drank a can of Red Bull before I rode home on my scooter this morning..... just woke up.

While I was working yesterday ... running around reviewing patients, putting patients to sleep, giving regional anaesthesia, doing resuscitation of a patient with had a stab injury which transected his stomach and nicked his aorta .... he died in the end and did not make it to the operating theatre ..... not having enough time to have my meals .... and my upcoming exams which is forever on my mind ...... physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted ..... I started to think .... I dont see myself doing all these 5 or 10 years down the road .... I dont think I will be able to keep up this kind of intensity ...coz age is catching up..... and trying to remain positive after failing my primary exams twice is not easy coz the mind can play tricks on you...... makes me think ..... did I make the right choice .... do I see myself doing all these things .... 5 years down the road .... is this what I want my future to be .....

Anyway right now ... the biggest hurdle is myself .... to carry on inspite of how I feel and the failures which haunt me ..... keep me in prayers guys as I continue along this path .... thanks guys

Sunday, 3 September 2006

A pleasant surprise from USA

Received a card from USA .... and it came at the right time .... appreciate it a lot vagus ....