Sunday, 30 July 2006

Wasted


Artist/Band: Underwood Carrie
Lyrics for Song: Wasted
Lyrics for Album: Some Hearts

Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It felt like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For once this second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whisky and it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Face it.

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
But still every morning' the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

Hey, yeah,
Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
But still every morning' the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Yeah, yeah
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
But still every morning' the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

New glasses


Today after church I went to my friend's shop to get a new pair of glasses. I have been getting frequent headaches from reading and staring at the laptop and also lack of sleep .... :) I decided to go for plastic frame this time to try out a new look ..... and when they checked my power ... they found out that my power has reduced...... yippee .....

I will be getting my glasses next Tuesday..... will post some pictures .... if I can get the card reader for my camera's memory card ... :)

Thursday, 27 July 2006

Music for studying .... baroque


I have been listening to Baroque classical music while studying ....peaceful, tranquil ...... now I hope that whatever I studies stay put so that I can vomit ooppss I mean recall it all on the day of the exams.... :)

I have also started doing exercises ... a bit everyday..... after all my good friends had been nagging me until their saliva dried up.... I am doing about 20 mins of cycling at home. Some abs work out on the bench. I do Callanetics for my back and for toning. When my stamina is better ... I will start doing some light weights. Coz : Healthy Body = Healthy Mind. Yup I do feel much better after exercising and more positive :)

Jaclyn Victor - Inilah Jac


The new Jaclyn Victor album is out !!!!!! I just bought it today ..... and all I can say is WOW.....Jac finally shines through this album showing us what she is capable of. You can check out more info from the fansite. There are 3 tracks produced by a fellow blogger .... Crewcut ... you can check out his blog here.

Ok in the meantime I am gonna enjoy the album...... all I can say is .... go buy one right now and support Jac !!!! .. hehe ...

Tuesday, 25 July 2006

Headache




I have been having this throbbing headache for the past few days..... have been avoiding panadol ... but I guess I will need to pop in some if I am gonna get any sleep tonight. Last night I was awake due to the headache. I have been monitoring my blood pressure .... so far it is still ok. No blurring of vision or any numbness or weakness of my limbs so far ... You can read more about headaches from here ...

I hope that the headache will go away soon so that I can really hit my books. I had taken next week off to catch up on my studying. I have not been able to read that much during my ICU posting which will finish tomorrow ....

So guys ... do pray for me .... thanks :)

Over and out ... gonna read a bit before I hit the sack ...


PS .. opppss I did not realise the picture was so BIG !!!! Will resize it later ( Done )

Monday, 24 July 2006

He will carry me

Many years ago when I was just a new Christian, I was going through a rough patch in my life. I remember praying and talking to Him in my room ..... I was in despair and it looked like there was no way out ... and it felt like God was a million miles away .... felt so alone .....I was getting so tired .... to even stand on my own two feet.......and then the still small voice speaks to my heart..

My son,

When you feel that I am a million miles, that is the very moment when I am right beside you, holding you.

When you feel that you are too weak to even stand on your own, I will carry you until you regain your strength.

When you feel that you cant do it, that is the very moment My strength is made strong and perfect in you.


Oh how I need these words in my heart again.

Dear Lord,

I surrender again. All the while I have been trying to find myself in my own strength. Please come take all of me...because all that matters is You. Yes Lord, I wont fight anymore, I surrender. Come take all of me. May Your will alone be done. Be the God Who sits on the throne of my life. Lord I lay my life at the altar....take all of me.... Amen.

Sunday, 23 July 2006

You move me - Susan Ashton


This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive
And no guarantee
So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear
Like a rock in the ground

Oh but you move me
You give me courage I didn't
Know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me on

Here is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions
Not knowin' what they mean
And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch

Oh but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love
And with hope and desire
How you move me

You go whistling in the dark
Making light of it
Making light of it
And I follow with my heart
Laughing all the way

Oh 'cause you move me
You get me dancing and you
make me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight
In every little thing
How you move me

Saturday, 22 July 2006

Simple vs Real


Simple vs Real


Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong...

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls. A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.

A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.

A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Well I did finally have dinner with my friend yesterday....and yes a true friend brings out the best in you. We had dinner at Kim Gary in Sunway Pyramid..... and he reminded me of how I was .... I was always bubbling with joy and bursting with energy and I never say cannot .... I will always say I can do it ..... yes that is what a true friend is .... one who helps you to go on the right path again.....to find yourself again when you had lost yourself. It was great to be reminded.... yes the I see the old me in there somewhere and it is just waiting to come out again and say I CAN DO IT ....

To my dear friend ... you know who you are and I thank you for taking the time and trouble to look beyond my defences and still reach out to me ... you had done more good than you can ever imagine ... :)

Thursday, 20 July 2006

Lost ....... where am I ???


I did some googling ... and google is great is helping me find pictures which help me to express how I am feeling at the moment. For those who had been following my blog ... you will know what I am going through .... sometimes up and sometimes down ..... but it has been more down lately since I started my masters program ..... I have been struggling to balance work and study and myself. For those who know me .... some of them had noticed a chance in me .... right now I feel like a lost puppy, stuck .... erm like in the above the picture .... ahem ahem

Yesterday I received a phone call from an old friend .... he is currently doing masters in oncology in UH. We met when we in the "induksi" course many years ago. And we still kept in touch.

( Earlier on I was sms-ing my friend about quiting the masters program .... yeah yeah I still think about it sometimes )

Me : Oh hi ...

Fren: Hey you seem to be a bit different nowadays

Me : Huh ? How different ??

Fren : You sound more down nowadays

Me : Oh ?

Fren : Hey u r not the old friend I used to know .... you are not the sort to quit that easily

Me : Oh well .... erm ....people change

Fren : Let's meet up for dinner and we will talk

Me : Sure ....


Well we are yet to meet up for dinner ..... maybe sometime this week.


Yes I am still lost ..... all the pep talks and blah blah .... and I still feel the same .... lost. I cant find my direction. And that is the inner turmoil that goes in my mind and heart. I still need to put on a smile on my face when I work and when I am out with friends so that I do need to expose the pain that I am going through ...... I dont think anyone will like to keep hearing the same things over and over again .... so I learn to keep things to myself. This way I dont have to explain myself over and over again. And I dont want to look like a mental handicap.

Yes exams are in Nov. And my studies are down the drain. Now excuse me while I seek God and find some peace to calm the inner turmoil which no one will understand.

22/7/2006 - Anyway felt much better after talking to God and a good night's rest . :)

Tuesday, 18 July 2006

Exhausted again !!!!!

Hmmm this is my second exhausted post !!!!! This must really be saying something ..... am I going into chronic fatigue syndrome ???

I am so tired after work that I just wanna lie down on my sofa and just turn on the TV and shut down my brain ... most of the time my sister comes home and find me asleep on the sofa while the TV is blasting away....

Whenever I open my books .... well I guess the books are like sleeping pills for me ... I will just doze off ..... zzzzzzzzz

At the rate I am going ..... hmmmmmm

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Having some problems with blogger

Hi guys ... I am having some problem with my blogger account. The entries are not displaying correctly and the paragraphs and photos are all jumbled up .....

So I am considering to migrate to another website providing free blog accounts such as wordpress.....

Will keep you guys updated ...


UPDATE : managed to find out my problem while "googling" ... now it is ok :)

When are you getting married ???

I just got back from my nephew's wedding dinner in Bentong. This is the time to catch up with my relatives who I only meet during Chinese New Year, Ching Ming and weddings.

Everytime I see them I get the same questions over and over again .... now since it is a wedding .... and my younger brother is getting married in Nov 2006 .... now everyone who sees me will ask the same question ....... when are you getting married ah ? Got girlfriend or not ?? Are you being too fussy or are your standards too high? Are you sure you work so hard that you even have time to go dating ??? Yup I admit to them that I slog my butt off at work and by the time I am back from work ... I am too exhausted to go to meet people .... to sum it ... YUP I AINT GOT A LIFE but just work work work and stress, stress and more stress over my studies.

But this evening I got a new question which totally took me by surprise .... here goes

Uncle A : Hey what is your blood pressure ?

Me : ( Duh my blood pressure ?? Who is the doc here ?? ) Well my blood pressure is 120/80 mmHg

Uncle A : ( He does the mother hen flapping movement with arms indicating to me that I am way overweight and that I look like a bowl of lard ) Your blood pressure should be less than 70 in the lower figure.

Me : Huh ?

Uncle A : Your blood pressure is high because you are ... ( arms flapping like a mother hen )

Me : Oh I guess it is stress ... too much

Uncle A : You mean you still hantam food when you are stressed out ... no wonder you are fat

Me : I guess you wont understand so I dont think I will explain it to you

Phew !!! I was rescued by another relative who wanted to ask me when I was getting married and I gladly entertain the question...

So now the questions I get are : When you are getting married ah ? Why are you so fat ah ?

Saturday, 15 July 2006

Never give up

Did a search on Google and this was what I came up regarding " Never Give up"


The picture with the frog strangling the bird was actually one of the pictures which I framed up and hung it in my room when I was studying in India for my undergrad. I need to hang it up again in my room here :)


Friday, 14 July 2006

Exhausted !!!!

I am tired ..... I need to sleep before my mind plays tricks on me again and get me down...... before I lost myself again. Sleep come quickly so that I can be restored .... so that I will have renewed strength when I get up to do what I must do....

Tuesday, 11 July 2006

When someone believes in you

I am not too good in writing .... like some the bloggers out there and that is why I post more pictures then typing long essays ..... :) And I really enjoy some of the blogs which I read ..... and they are so talented ... but me .... well I will keep it short and sweet.

Today I will attempt to write about one of my consultants who inspires me.

I am currently in my ICU posting and it has been tiring and if I dont have exams coming up in November ... I will really enjoy my ICU posting and yes it is tiring but I have great consultants and specialists who are really committed to their work ... especially the consultants ... they are so approachable and always willing to teach.

One of the consultants actually took time from her busy schedule to encourage me. She wanted to encourage and affirm me regarding my work and my studies. She also taught me exams techniques in how to approach and answer mcqs, short essays and viva session. And she had a heart to heart talk regarding me getting down over my studies and I was pleasantly surprised to realise that what she said spoke straight to my heart and it made me believe in myself again because here was someone who believed in me when I was still trying to pick myself up.

And I thank God for people Who He place in my life who will come along and walk with me when I need a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear.

Another thing on my wishlist and prayer list is that I will fit into the church which I am attending currently here in USJ. I have been quite irregular due to my work schedule. I also dont seem to fit into the cell group as they already have their own group. But I will still attend church so that I can worship Him and recharge....

Wah type so much already ah .... I better hit the sack ....

Good night and God bless....

Sunday, 9 July 2006

Demons from the past

Totally zonked out from my alternate day calls in Intensive Care Unit ... I will be on call again. Seriously need to grab hold of some chicken essence. Been popping in multi vitamin supplements and B Co ...but I guess nothing can replace sleep. I have been having sleepless nights again thinking about the amount of studying to be done to be ready by November because I want to pass this time ... yes I must..... but sometimes the demons from the past come back to haunt me .... " You will not make it this time ... see how good the others are ... they have verbal diarrhoea and you have verbal constipation... Why don't you just give up??? Coz you are just not good enough ... at the rate you are going, history will repeat itself"

Oh SHUT UP !!!!!

(These are the thoughts which had been bombarding me since I joined the masters program and failed .... and the cycle goes on .... but this time I want to break the cycle once and for all in Jesus' name)

I can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me !!! He said it, I believe it, that settles it !!!

Ok maybe tonight I will have a peaceful sleep ..... Lord I commit my life into Your hands again.

Good night

Hong Kong Part 14

After the Culture Village, we head over to the Po Lin Monastery for lunch.....

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

So here is the ticket we paid to go into the outdoor Buddha which also includes a vegetarian lunch .... :D

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Here are the dishes....it was not buffet style. They actually cater to individuals and groups. So we sat in a table for two. There was a pot of chinese tea, soup, rice with 4 dishes .... yummy

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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I really admire the workers in this restaurant. They really work as a team and they are so efficient. When someone finishes his food and leaves the table, these guys will be there already clearing the table and in like 2-3 mins the table is free for the next customer...... I tried to snap a picture of the waiters ..... can you see how fast they were running with the food trolley ????

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


One last shot of the outdoor Buddha before we head back

Hong Part 13

After the climb up to the outdoor Buddha, we walked over to the Culture Village nearby about 5 minutes walk. It is a new project which was in its trial run when we went over. There were culture shoes. Nice relaxing Chinese music been played over the air ..... very nicely done .... this will sure increase more tourist spots for Hong Kong
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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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The cable car. We wanted to take the cable back instead of the windy bus ride back .... but since it was in its trial run....it was only available to the staffs' family for that day....I think they will open it officially in end of June
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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Friday, 7 July 2006

My laptop is back !!!

Finally got my laptop back and the people at Acer replaced a new hard disk for me .... so I am installing the OS and all the softwares and it will be as good as new :D

Ok will hit the sack soon as I am on call again tomorrow .... cya

Thursday, 6 July 2006

Fly eagle fly

I am using my sister's computer. My laptop is still in the workshop. I have just completed a 12 hour shift in ICU ... got back this morning at about 7 am ... just woke up. Getting ready to go to work again as I am on the 12 hr shift again from 6 pm to 6 am today. Going earlier to the hospital so that I can get some studying done.

Stumbled upon robin's blog about eagles .... you can read it here . It is about the eagle's story .... to continue living or just to give up. It spoke to me. Last week when I was in church ... I managed to see a Christian Professional Pianist in action and he is Adlan Cruz ... his website is here . God spoke to me about diligence found in Proverbs 10:4.... to press on towards to goal no matter what the obstacle. And today after reading robin's entry about the eagles... I am remind to give up the old ways, past shames and failures in order to go forward ..... yes I want, I am willing ....

Wednesday, 5 July 2006

My laptop will be admitted to hospital

Hi guys ... just a short note to inform u all that I will not be offline for a few days as I had to send my laptop to be fixed .... I think my hard disk is gonna konked out soon and my laptop speakers sound like "blowed out" .... I dont even blast my laptop speakers ... oh well ... a few days away from the internet will do me good so I can plant my butt and do some serious reading ... :D

Well lb wong ... hope u r reading this ..... I hope to meet up with you when u r still in KL .... buzz me when u r free ....

Ok guys ... signing off

Have a great day