Monday, 26 September 2005

A reminder to me

The past few weeks I was really depressed... my studies ... myself ....I reminded again about who I am .... yes God reminded me again who I really am.

I was feeling bad that as a Christian .. I was being so negative regarding my coming exams ... not sat for it yet and I have already pictured the worst scenario ... duh

Then one morning ... just last week ... as I got up in the morning panicking about the amount of stuffs I need to dump into my tiny brain for the coming exams ... I have no problem with essays and MCQs ... it is the Viva session that always get me tongue tied ... oh how I hated vivas .... really feel so dumb when I can answer something .... by the way my exams are in the first week of November and my mock exams are this coming 2 weekends ....

So this is what God reminded me ... that I was His beloved ... that first of all .. I am a Christian .... not a son, not a doctor or a masters student .... yes first and foremost I am a Christian and I bear the hope and light of Jesus and love of Jesus which will bring hope where there is despair and hopelessness and to bring light where there is darkness.... and to touch lives for Him .. to let the others know that He came to die for us when we rejected and did not love Him .. Yes I was reminded again. And I repented that day in the morning for all the negatives thoughts that I allowed to take root in my mind and life ... I repented and asked for His forgiveness ... that I will be a good testimony ... yes that I will be an ambassador of Christ ... yes because of Him .. I will not give up ... because of Him . I will do my best .. not worrying about the end results but just to do my best as unto Him because I love Him ... because He is my life ... because He is Only reason why I am still alive ... yes I am reminded again of how He came into my life and swept me off my feet ... I am reminded again ... Yes Lord ... I remember again .... yes I remember who I really am .... I am Your beloved .... Amen.... Thank You Jesus


I will offer up sacrifices of praises to You ... yes I will not offer up anything which will not cost me..... I will continue to thank You for all that You have done ... yes to praise and thank You in all situations ...

I was reminded at how gentle Jesus is ... I remember the story of the lost sheep and the shepherd. Sheep are prone to wander and usually the shepherd will wait till the sheep is exhausted to trying to survive on its own, then and only then he will seek that wayward sheep and when he finds that sheep ... it will be so helpless and exhausted that it will not offer any resistance when the shepherd carries the sheep around his neck .... yes only when we hit rock bottom .. God comes and gently carry us again until we are strong again...for as long as there is a morsel of self reliance and strength left in us, we will still want to do things our way and live the way we want to ....


Ok now I gotta go take my bath and study... I am on call tomorrow and I will have to present my dissertation to my profs on Wednesday morning ... hope I wont fall asleep while presenting as I usually get really bad calls .....

I love You Jesus ....

1 comment:

Accepted in the Beloved :) said...

Hey, you don't know me but you appear to love my Saviour, and that makes you my brother :)
what a blessing to read some of your blogs- I just stumbled across them accidentally, but I can relate to a lot of things you write of. You're right- we DO have a wonderful Saviour and God, who has loved us with an everlasting love- past and future - and will never leave us nor forsake us! And we dont deserve anything but His wrath, and yet He daily loads us with His mercies and blessings upon blessings.
Well, I'll see you in heaven :D
From a sister in Christ