Sunday, 18 September 2005

Depressed ......




Feeling depressed ... hmmmm .. exams make me depressed because I feel that I am not doing enough and that I am so inadequate......

I went home this weekend back to Seremban to see my parents and also to celebrate my sister's birthday ... oh how time flies ....It was really great to be home. It was also great to be able to go to church and fellowship.


But this is how I am feeling now ... did a search on the internet regarding depression and these where the few images that I managed to get from the new ...how to overcome depression and a sense of hopelessness ????

Actually I am really frustrated with myself for not doing what I should do. I should be really studying like crazy now ...but this weekend I did not even touch my books. I just chilled out ... konon-nya to destress by playing some computer games which I had not touched for ages... felt good but in the end felt guilty for not studying ... what a viscious cycle. I remember my brother used to tell me ... when you are stuck in a situation like this ... all u can do it just go continue doing it ... even if you feel numb ... I mean to just continue to study no matter how you feel or what the odds are ....
Been having my intensive course these 2 weeks and I really feel down as I was comparing myself with the others in the course who really give verbal "diarrhea" ..... I mean they were able to spill out facts like a stream while I struggled to even utter a word..... maybe this added to my depression and my sense of inferiority complex....


In the end I found the answer .... it is to know who I am in Christ and to move on and not lose hope even when there seems to be no hope..... well the worst thing that can happen is that I will fail my exams this Nov and sit for it again next year in May a2006 ... in the meantime ... life goes on and on ... waiting for no man.... oh God may I learn to be good steward of the time that You have given me.

2 comments:

LT said...

Hang on there buddy. God is always with u and u can do it! :)

Chen said...

Proverbs 3:5-6 are my favourite bible verses : Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him & He will make your paths straight.

All the best to u :)